Snow

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  • Bulld0g
    V.I.P. Member
    • Apr 2008
    • 7158

    #1

    Snow

    25 November
    It started to snow today!
    The wife and I went for a walk watched the fluffy soft snowflakes gently
    drift from the sky, leaving a twinkling diamond-like dusting on the trees and the law. It is so beautifu

    26 November
    We awoke delighted to find a beautiful blanket of crystal white glistening
    snow covering the land as far as the eye can see.
    What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush is now adorned with a lovely
    mystical cotton wool covering, sparkling as if sent from heaven itself.

    27 November
    I shovelled now for the first time ever today and loved it! I cleared both
    our driveway and the whole of the pavement outside our house and the house next door.
    Later on, a snowplough came past and accidentally covered up our driveway
    with compacted snow from the street. The driver gave a big wave and smiled
    as he went past, I waved back and then shovelled the driveway clear again.
    The children next door built a snowman, with coal for its eyes and a
    carrot for its nose, they then had a snowball fight. A couple of snowballs
    just missed me and hit the car, I threw a couple back and joined in the fun.

    28 November
    It snowed an additional 5inches last night and the temperature dropped to
    around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes have
    snapped due to the weight of the snow.
    I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by
    and did the same trick again. Much of the snow is now a brownish grey.

    29 November
    Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon turned
    into ice as the temperature dropped again.
    Bought snow tyres for both cars.
    Fell on my arse in the driveway and went to casualty, luckily nothing
    broken!

    30 November
    till cold! Had another 8 inches of white shite last night.
    Sold the wife's car the other day and bought a 4x4 to get her to work. She
    slid into a wall and caused considerable damage to the right wing. Both the
    vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush.
    The bastard snowplough came by twice today! Wheres the bloody shovel?

    31 November
    More f------ snow! Not a tree or a bush on our property that hasn't been
    damaged. Power off most of the night.
    Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and paraffin heater,which then tipped over and nearly torched the house!
    Managed to put the flames out, but suffered second degree burns to my
    hands, and lost all of my eyebrows and eyelashes.

    Car hit a f------ deer on the way to casualty and was written off.

    1 December
    F------ bastard stuff white keeps coming down! Have to put on every
    article of clothing just to go to the postbox.
    The little bastards next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back. I'll shove that carrot so far up that little *****s arse, it'll take a surgeon hours to find it! If I ever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough, I'll rip open his chest and chew out his heart with my teeth!
    I think the bastard hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
    shovelling. He then accelerates down the street like Michael f------
    Schumacher and buries the f------ drive again!

    2 December
    Sixteen more f------ inches of f------ snow, f------ ice, f------ sleet
    and God knows whatever other white shite fell last night. Can't move my
    f----- toes, its so cold.
    I'm due in court in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver
    with an ice pick
    Haven't seen the sun for five weeks. Minus 20degrees, and more f------
    snow forecast!!!

    3 December
    F--- this!! We're moving to Oman

    THE TRUTH
    The Hillsborough Independent Panel. 12/09/12

    Today's report is black and white.The Liverpool fans were not the cause of the disaster.
    The panel has quite simply found 'no evidence' in support of allegations of 'exceptional levels of drunkenness, ticketlessness or violence among Liverpool fans' and 'no evidence that fans had conspired to arrive late at the stadium' and 'no evidence that they stole from the dead and dying'.
  • digilox
    Member
    • Jul 2008
    • 91

    #2
    Yup a bit like that up here too .... except I blew the snowplough driver away with a Magnum !
    There is no tomorrow..... it's simply two days after yesterday !

    Comment

    • stewartthemole
      Junior Member
      • Jan 2010
      • 32

      #3
      Originally posted by digilox
      Yup a bit like that up here too .... except I blew the snowplough driver away with a Magnum !
      What shoved an ice ly up his ass

      Comment

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