Relationship woes
I got asked for my number at work yesterday...
By a gay guy...
This had the effect of contracting my sphincter to a diameter that would be difficult to measure even with the help of an electron microscope, and as i stood there never more certain in my life of my sexuality he spoke out.
"It's not for me"
Four simple words that made my ass hole emmit a sound resembling YES! as it started to relax back to sane dimensions and actualy allowed me the use of my legs back.
He was asking on behalf of a coworker who has just returned from maternity and whom also closely resembles a gorilla on steroids. This as it turns out is far more of a quandry than getting asked out by a dood, by any account.
Now camp is as camp does, everyone in work became instantly aware of my situation. When Enistein hypothesised that nothing could travel faster than the speed of light in a vacuum, he'd clearly never been aware of rampant gossiping.
Social retardation does have its downside i guess.
Now there are plenty of attractive young debutaunts that ive been more than flirtatious with here at my humble place of work, and the gorilla has marked her turf. Affording them the position of a hill top general watching the troops getting slaughtered below, sipping cognac in perfect safety.
I see no easy way out here.
I mean the usual approach of "no thank you im soley in love with the cock." wont work here, shes checkmated me by asking a buftie to propose her intent.
I scream homosexuality then it would open me up to getting bummed by her right hand man...
I can only place this down to a side effect of the steroids turning her into a politicaly adept master tactician.
They should teach it at Sandhurst.
It's been made public so if im under scrutiny "no im seeing someone else." Effectively takes me off this seasons roster, effectively benching me, forcing me to merely spectate.
Everyone knows shes just back from maternity and would therefore be more than a little self aware and self concious, calling her a "filthy munter" whilst desperately trying to hold back my gag reflex would paint me in a poor light and might possibly have her running for the PND razors...
I suspect people may take a dim view of this.
It might also result in my arms being brutaly ripped from their sockets and used as implements with which to beat me to death.
Im surrounded by people starved of any intelectual pursuit here who've effectively latched on to the subject, if only to kill the monotony of our existance and stave off the insanity of our daily lives.
And as smart as i am, i can find no easy way out of this, (nor difficult ways) ive ran countless scenarios all day and came up completely and utterly defeated each time. Its like being back in highschool with all its associated bullshit.
Anyone have any ideas?
By a gay guy...
This had the effect of contracting my sphincter to a diameter that would be difficult to measure even with the help of an electron microscope, and as i stood there never more certain in my life of my sexuality he spoke out.
"It's not for me"
Four simple words that made my ass hole emmit a sound resembling YES! as it started to relax back to sane dimensions and actualy allowed me the use of my legs back.
He was asking on behalf of a coworker who has just returned from maternity and whom also closely resembles a gorilla on steroids. This as it turns out is far more of a quandry than getting asked out by a dood, by any account.
Now camp is as camp does, everyone in work became instantly aware of my situation. When Enistein hypothesised that nothing could travel faster than the speed of light in a vacuum, he'd clearly never been aware of rampant gossiping.
Social retardation does have its downside i guess.
Now there are plenty of attractive young debutaunts that ive been more than flirtatious with here at my humble place of work, and the gorilla has marked her turf. Affording them the position of a hill top general watching the troops getting slaughtered below, sipping cognac in perfect safety.
I see no easy way out here.
I mean the usual approach of "no thank you im soley in love with the cock." wont work here, shes checkmated me by asking a buftie to propose her intent.
I scream homosexuality then it would open me up to getting bummed by her right hand man...
I can only place this down to a side effect of the steroids turning her into a politicaly adept master tactician.
They should teach it at Sandhurst.
It's been made public so if im under scrutiny "no im seeing someone else." Effectively takes me off this seasons roster, effectively benching me, forcing me to merely spectate.
Everyone knows shes just back from maternity and would therefore be more than a little self aware and self concious, calling her a "filthy munter" whilst desperately trying to hold back my gag reflex would paint me in a poor light and might possibly have her running for the PND razors...
I suspect people may take a dim view of this.
It might also result in my arms being brutaly ripped from their sockets and used as implements with which to beat me to death.
Im surrounded by people starved of any intelectual pursuit here who've effectively latched on to the subject, if only to kill the monotony of our existance and stave off the insanity of our daily lives.
And as smart as i am, i can find no easy way out of this, (nor difficult ways) ive ran countless scenarios all day and came up completely and utterly defeated each time. Its like being back in highschool with all its associated bullshit.
Anyone have any ideas?
nice start to your year bud... you need a diversion to take the attention away from you to allow you to let the munter down on the quiet... Some more exciting gossip than your current dilemma is required as a possible diversion.. If the crap weather is not good enough to do it then you need the help of a gossip monger, what you come up with is your call.. but please let us know...
TYPICAL BLUENOSE 
~~~~in Hell Mate , and here's me thinking the snow was a problem , see if Australia will take you ! 
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