THE WORST JOKES THREAD

**barrowmanandrew** · 14th April, 2010, 06:20 PM

Q. what's white and moves....... A. cum dancing...

**barrowmanandrew** · 14th April, 2010, 06:22 PM

Q. how do you sink an irish submarine?........ A. chap the door...

**waqasahmed** · 16th April, 2010, 09:00 PM

Ok, so a boy is born with no arms no legs no body, pratically he was just a head, but his dad loved him and on his eighteenth birthday his dad took him to the bar fo his first pint, and he took a sip and woosh out comes his torso!, so everyone in bar say take another sip, so he does, and woosh ou comes his arms and legs he was so happy he ran out into the road into an oncoming lorry and suddenly dead, and the bar man says to his dad, that boy should of quit while he was a head

**hoggy952** · 16th April, 2010, 10:31 PM

I walked into B&Q and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.

**maca** · 16th April, 2010, 10:32 PM

i went on the ikea diet after 3 days me legs fell off

**ianmac** · 16th April, 2010, 11:17 PM

Just finished with my cross eyed girlfriend
Bitch was seeing someone else.

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Mate of mine married a polish girl other week,took her 4hours to do the hoovering!!!
Turns out she's only a Slo-vac

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I had a German plumber in the other day.
He accidentally connected the gas supply to the shower.
Mmmm. old habits die hard...

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**golf gti1** · 16th April, 2010, 11:24 PM

Whats brown and sticky

A stick.

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I went out side today and got hit on the head by a frozen lasange.

It must be the last of the stuff falling from iceland.

**patkins** · 16th April, 2010, 11:41 PM

Couple in New York had two children- a boy and a girl. When the third child came along it was born it was only a head with body ,arms and legs missing. When interviewed on TV about the child the Wife said it was OK as they were now the typical American family with 2.3 kids.

**Chriscwl** · 4th May, 2010, 11:54 PM

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

**NHRA21** · 5th May, 2010, 02:09 AM

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A: Where's My Tractor?

**zaniak** · 5th May, 2010, 07:29 AM

"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any."

"Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The
other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!""