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  1. #1
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    Default The atheist and the bear

    An atheist was walking through the woods.
    'What majestic trees!
    'What powerful rivers!
    'What beautiful animals!
    He said to himself.

    As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
    He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
    He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..
    He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
    He tripped & fell on the ground.
    He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
    At that instant the Atheist cried out,

    'Oh my God!'
    Time Stopped.
    The bear froze.
    The forest was silent.
    As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
    'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
    'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
    Am I to count you as a believer?
    The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
    'Very well,' said the voice.


    The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

    'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord,

    Amen.
    I will drown, no one shall save me << Intention to commit suicide
    I shall drown, no one will save me << plea for help

    Learn English, it may save your life one day.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mjolinor For This Useful Post:

    gopher7 (18th July, 2018),Johnner (16th July, 2018)

  3. #2
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    Default

    best leave the shoite jokes to maca vic
    Nottingham Anglers

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  4. #3
    V.I.P. VIC

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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gmb45 View Post
    best leave the shoite jokes to maca vic
    Well if anyone is qualified to know then you are the maestro.
    I will drown, no one shall save me << Intention to commit suicide
    I shall drown, no one will save me << plea for help

    Learn English, it may save your life one day.

  5. #4
    V.I.P. VIC

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    Default

    The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought.

    He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

    After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

    The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

    She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
    I will drown, no one shall save me << Intention to commit suicide
    I shall drown, no one will save me << plea for help

    Learn English, it may save your life one day.

  6. #5
    V.I.P. VIC

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    Default

    Is that better?
    I will drown, no one shall save me << Intention to commit suicide
    I shall drown, no one will save me << plea for help

    Learn English, it may save your life one day.

  7. #6
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    gmb45's Avatar
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    bit better
    Nottingham Anglers

    forum rules

    no keygens or torrents to be posted no autodata discussions and no cardshare/server talk allowed.

    LLAP


    pish pt walkers




 

 

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