Tottie Scones tae go wae Zaps Skwer sausage

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take yer warm mash ad yer butter n salt.
Add yer floor, noo ye'll need te eyebaw cause dependin on yer tottie depends on the watter content.
Ye'll be wantin a warm saft dough, nane o' yer dry pish or it'll go wrang! keep it moist!

Leave it sittin a minit whilst ye fire a sturdy pan on, crank the heat up and add a wee dod o' lube like chip fat ur if ye huve nane then some kind a oil, no a lot mind you just want tae stop it stickin te the arse o the pan no deep fry it.

Take yer dough and roll it oot, ye'll be wantin it about a quarter o' an inch thick.
Make that intae bottom o' the pan sized circles and slice through it intae quarters fur yer Scottish weird triangle style wans, or ye can use a burger press ur the like if yer wantin te be awe fancy and make em roon.

slap it in the pan and cook em till there awe golden broon, textured like sun, lays me doon, wae a starch based coronary.

Slap it on some o' zaps skwer sausage and if yer really mad wae it hung oor add a fried egg oan it tae, then eh broon sausce and fone an amberlance cause yell be hinkin yev hud a hert attack fae the ragin hertburn.
Ats how ye dae it we a hingoor cause yer awe ready gubbed and dont feel it as bad!

enjoy people, if you cant translate this pish, then yer no deservin tae eat it!