to: meathead

[Shady]

I had a rattly heat shield on my exhaust..the weld on one side had come off. today i bought some chemical metal stuff and fixed it. :D
this was my very first car repair and i charged myself an exorbitant fee for doing it...so please mr meathead, now i have broken my duck; can i be a member of the bad garage scheme?

[nutloose]

"and fixed it. :D"

Good try, 10/10 for effort.
The only reason that you may become eligible for the Bad Garage Scheme would be if the repair proved defective or somehow inadequate shortly after the rear lights of the vehicle left the premises.
So until such time when your "fixes" become less resilient I'm afaraid your application would be refused.

Please feel free to apply again after taking a short fag break whilst damaging a customers pride and joy.

best regards

PS.. your application fee was acceptable but after due consideration cannot be refunded. Cheryl the barmaid is currently the treasurer and she said it has only just covered the scratchings bill.

[testune]

How do you know Mr. Meathead wouldn't have welded it using only a car battery, some old jump leads and a 2.5mm welding rod? (works great for spot welding)
This would be a far superior repair at a fraction of the cost and would be more resilient to heat than chemical metal....

Better wait for his reply I suppose....... Ha-Ha...!

[Liteace]

How do you know Mr. Meathead wouldn't have welded it using only a car battery, some old jump leads and a 2.5mm welding rod? (works great for spot welding)



welding rod, No, No, No dont be silly, a welding rod welds, if it welds it would be welded and if its welded it may last a while before it need welding again, to be a bad garage scheme member it cant last, it has to break, as Nutloose clearly pointed out as SOON as the rear lights of the vehicle leave the premises, you would have to use the carcass of that free metal pen you got from one of the motor factors at xmas as a welding rod then your in with a chance

[Grizz]

tech screw from shield straight into ehaust is the proper job. that way when it falls out you have rattle and a hole in pipe

[testune]

Aaah now I see... Bit of manky old duct tape covered with exhaust paste would have done the trick...
(Although having said that the last exhaust I bodged together like that lasted nearly a month....)
I'm failing fast..... Where's Meathead?

[Liteace]

duct tape fixes everything and stays there, you cant use that, using duck tape is like doing a professional repair. Meaty is probably watching the sundays corrie street omnibus that he sky +'ed, apparently Tracy Barlow was in it a lot last week, Dont tell meaty BUT she was kissing some bloke in a Merc, so Meaty may be out looking for that Merc with a milk bottle some petrol and a rag

[Liteace]

Oh just thought, He wasnt going to light it and throw it, he just wanted to clean the brake dust of the alloys



Had to add that just incase the pOlice are viewing this thread

[testune]

Shadyback never said how much he charged himself for his top quality brilliant repair job and how much do you recon Meaty charges for mobile alloy wheel restoration with an old rag?

[dopsleutel13]

Sooo a lot of Meatheads here !http://members.chello.nl/j.habraken2/lachen.gif

[Xram]

No just the one ones more than enough for this forum don't think the server could handle another.

[z786]

im lucky, i was invited to be a member :)

[Shady]

soooo.. update: my quick fix didnt work, so i believe i qualify now yes? i am charging my self another exorbitant fee + parts + vat to fit jubilee clips to it...

[Liteace]

How Long didn't it work for, it can't just not work it has to work for a short time, it's not easy getting bad garage membership, you have to do many bad jobs to qualify


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Shady]

it worked for just under 24 hrs..

[Liteace]

it worked for just under 24 hrs..

Bit to long i'd say, I sure Meaty will be able to give you some general guidelines on this, once he's found that Merc he'll have a bit more time

[Shady]

:( oh well ....

[dik]

Keep up the good (bad) work and you'll get there soon !

[testune]

Jubilee clips sounds a bit too permanent... cable tie it to a brake line would probably get you in with a fighting chance of an A+ (bad job) qualification....
The percentage mark up on parts to labour would be enormous....

[Meat-Head]

Hi guys sorry for not loggin on sooner, was in bed when thread started and too late up to look this morning (w*nking over the Tracy Barlow photo by my bed) - then went to Home | Poundland (http://www.poundland.com) for a meal deal at lunch.

firsty - you need to do a fair amount of training to be a member of badgaragescheme.com, you have to be able to keep a straight face whilst over charging customers, no laughing, giggling or sniggering.

you have to a MINIMUM TWICE a month fit a second hand part to a customers car and charge price of new one.

ALL warranties MUST BE NO LONGER than 6 mins or 6 miles which ever comes first. For imported cars, EG french and american gateway warranty is fine - out of gate out of warranty.

My own car had a cracked exhaust manifold and way filling the car with deadly poisonous exhaust fumes, not having access to a welding plant at that time and was young (ish) at the time, big splat of exhaust paste, domestic tin foil held on with some wire did the job (seriously).

Any questions just ask.

THANKS FOR THIS THREAD AND ALL WHO HAVE ADDED TO IT>

Meat.

[Liteace]

Hi guys sorry for not loggin on sooner, was in bed when thread started and too late up to look this morning (w*nking over the Tracy Barlow photo by my bed) - then went to Home | Poundland (http://www.poundland.com) for a meal deal at lunch.

firsty - you need to do a fair amount of training to be a member of badgaragescheme.com, you have to be able to keep a straight face whilst over charging customers, no laughing, giggling or sniggering.

you have to a MINIMUM TWICE a month fit a second hand part to a customers car and charge price of new one.

ALL warranties MUST BE NO LONGER than 6 mins or 6 miles which ever comes first. For imported cars, EG french and american gateway warranty is fine - out of gate out of warranty.

My own car had a cracked exhaust manifold and way filling the car with deadly poisonous exhaust fumes, not having access to a welding plant at that time and was young (ish) at the time, big splat of exhaust paste, domestic tin foil held on with some wire did the job (seriously).

Any questions just ask.

THANKS FOR THIS THREAD AND ALL WHO HAVE ADDED TO IT>

Meat.

Thanks for the guidelines on this, everyone was getting a bit worried. Did you find that Merc ??

[Meat-Head]

Thanks for the guidelines on this, everyone was getting a bit worried. Did you find that Merc ??


No sorry was trying to get the spy cam working to look into Tracy's room

but ended up looking for this lol


How do you know Mr. Meathead wouldn't have welded it using only a car battery, some old jump leads and a 2.5mm welding rod? (works great for spot welding)
This would be a far superior repair at a fraction of the cost and would be more resilient to heat than chemical metal....

Better wait for his reply I suppose....... Ha-Ha...!


YouTube - Using 3 car batteries to weld (Video #1)

[Liteace]

A car battery, some old jump leads, maybe yes but welding rod !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Liteace]

No sorry was trying to get the spy cam working to look into Tracy's room

but ended up looking for this lol




YouTube - Using 3 car batteries to weld (Video #1) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_hLobwoyhE)

I wonder if them front shocks are gas, shame he didnt do a bit more welding then we would have found out, look at the angle of the brake disc, looks like there's a bit more bent or broken than that track rod

[Grizz]

welding rods are far to expensive to be wasting on customers, lol

YouTube - MacGyver welding a conrod together

[testune]

Whilst near to your local canal, ditch, rubbish dump, neighbours garden, or even H@lfords (when nobody is watching obviously) find yourself any sort of bicycle wheel and using some decent snips swiftly remove one of the spokes.

This will eliminate the problem (Grizz) of wasting valuable welding rods on your customers and vastly increasing your chances of becoming a VIP member of thebadgaragescheme at the same time.
This may also count as one of Meatys twice a month rules of charging as you may invoice for the welding materials that you haven't used... You will obviously have to confirm whether this is valid or not with him but I'm sure if you don't laugh, snigger or giggle as well at least some of the conditions will definitely be met.
You will find the bicycle spoke will arc up just fine and the total job will stand you in at naff all and will be pure profit.
Do it badly as well with no guarantee for a bit of repeat business and you will find yourself climbing that members ladder rapidly with all that multitasking thrown in for free.

Hope the advice is good and before you all ask I have tried it and is does work....

[Xram]

Only one way to stop a broken exhaust trailing on the ground is to fix it properly first you need the right tools like a ramp.http://thereifixedit.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/129140007059081153.jpg
Quality tools.

http://thereifixedit.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/129182914459254621.jpg
http://thereifixedit.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/129177884298880430.jpg
Then your ready to begin the repair.

http://thereifixedit.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/129137445026116315.jpg
No more exhaust trailing on the ground as good as new oh and you got to remember it was a pig of a job 3 hours min charge. :D

[linglang]

M-H-M Toolbox

1. Hammer
2. Bigger Hammer for the real rough jobs
3. Tin Foil
4. Duct Tape
5. Zip Ties
6. Blinking LED with Snap-Off Sticker (Was a big investment which must charged extra too customers for diagnosing, the repair also costs extra of course with new "used at least twice a month" original parts.Don't forget to charge customer for dirty hands.)

Big thanks too the Thread Starter.

[Mjolinor]

I am sure there will be bonus points available to help towards your membership if you convinced the car owner that the small noise from the part of the hole that you didn't fix meant that he needed at least another ?large sum spending on the car to make it safe for the road.

[Xram]

Just sorted out my mates tracking no more under-steer corners like a dream now.

http://thatwillbuffout.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/129181799990605374.jpg