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View Full Version : This honest to God happened to me last night



masur123
17th April, 2012, 09:33 PM
I was out walking my boxer dog at about 18:30 when a police car pulled up alongside me. The officer gets out, and the convo goes something like this:

Officer: Is that your Dog?

Me: Yes it is

Officer: Do you live round here

Me: Yes I do (give address)

Officer: Do you often walk your dog?

Me: Yes I do, morning and evening, whats this about?

Officer: Reports of a dog like yours menacing people. Do you know anyone else with a dog like this?

Me: My dog is not menacing, and I see a few boxers around when I walk him

The officer then gets on his radio and asks for a sergeant to come to the scene.

5 minute later, two police cars arrave and four officers get out.

Me: A bit heavy handed for my dog dont you think?

Officer: One second.

He goes off for a conflab with the other officers, all of who keep looking at me and saying things like:

What do you think? Does he or doesnt he...

Then one of the officers comes up to me and says:

Officer 2: I am arresting you on suspicion of indecent assault on Saturday night.

WTF!!!!

Me: I was out with the missus on Saturday night!

Officer 2: We will discuss that at the station

Me: My boy (of 12) is at home while I am out walking the dog, I cant leave him on his own for too long

After ringng people to see if they could have them the officer said they would get a femal officer to sit with him, and one of the would walk my dog home.

I am duly handcuffed and in the back of the car on the way to the station.

I get to the station, and wait patiently in the holding area. All the while thinking I am ok here as I have witnesses at the poker night, and my missus was with me all night.

I get called to the front desk by the custody sergeant, and go through the process of identification. The sergeant then asks for the charge from the arresting officer.

Officer 2: Arrested on suspicion of rape between the hours of 03:00 and 06:00 Saturday night/Sunday morning.

My heart stops..... this is the time me and the missus got home from our night out, and I was the 6 sheets to the wind.... I start to think... did I take my dog out when I was in pished? I havent dont it before, but I cant remember....My pants are starting to fill, and I start to think things like... My life is over, I am going down....


The detective leading the investigation appears, and asks to speak to the custody sergeant. They disappear in the back office, and thirty seconds later he comes out and says:

CS: Really sorry Sir, a case of mistaken identity. We will take you back home!

Now imagine my relief! My knees nearly give way...

When I pick the missus up later in the evening I ask her to clarify what happened when we got back Saturday night, without saying what had happened earlier that evening.

She tells me that after getting out of the taxi, I wanted a burger, got the arse cos they were all shut. Went to bed with her and annoyed her for ten minutes, then fell asleep snoring and kept her awake for most of the night. I have never felt so relieved!! I hadnt gone out!!

Anyhoo, moral of the story is you never know when your life could change in an instant. If the detective though I looked enough like the perpetrator, and my missus had fallen straight to sleep, I could be looking at a court case, and I would have been none the wiser as I dont remember going home Saturday night.

People have said to me today that you must think you are capable of doing something like that if I am thinking like this. I honestly dont think I am, but if I cant remember what I do, then how can I say I wont?

Dont think I will ever be drinking to a stupor again, it has proper shit the life out of me.

Shady
17th April, 2012, 09:35 PM
but what if the offender was ur mrs and YOU'RE HER alibi? :eek:

masur123
17th April, 2012, 09:38 PM
but what if the offender was ur mrs and YOU'RE HER alibi? :eek:

Then she must be a bloke with a boxer?

smirnoff_rules
17th April, 2012, 09:41 PM
they could of still done u .., u cant use your wife as a witness in court can u ?

masur123
17th April, 2012, 09:42 PM
they could of still done u .., u cant use your wife as a witness in court can u ?


Yes you can, but it is would be considered a biased witness by the prosecution, I think...

Shady
17th April, 2012, 09:43 PM
Then she must be a bloke with a boxer?

might be.. never met her ;)

:roflmao:

maca
17th April, 2012, 09:44 PM
it was me ......

masur123
17th April, 2012, 09:46 PM
I should add that, there genuinely was a rape in my area on Saturday night/Sunday morning by someone with a boxer dog...

masur123
17th April, 2012, 09:46 PM
it was me ......

I will let them know...

Shady
17th April, 2012, 09:46 PM
we know.. you did it.. didnt u? i didnt read all the post... i got bored :embarassed:

maca
17th April, 2012, 09:47 PM
grass lol ............

masur123
17th April, 2012, 09:48 PM
we know.. you did it.. didnt u? i didnt read all the post... i got bored :embarassed:


Obviously something wrong with my writing skills then...

cgscott
17th April, 2012, 09:48 PM
I should add that, there genuinely was a rape in my area on Saturday night/Sunday morning by someone with a boxer dog...

Has it been in the local news? Wouldnt mind having a read of that.

masur123
17th April, 2012, 09:51 PM
Has it been in the local news? Wouldnt mind having a read of that.


No, I looked on the NorthantsNews (http://www.northantsnews.com) website, but nothing has appeared on there yet.

the man
17th April, 2012, 09:57 PM
you can get your dna wiped off there books , but you need to ask .

thanks for postting

Shady
17th April, 2012, 09:58 PM
you can get your dna wiped off there books , but you need to ask .

thanks for postting

id be more worried about wiping it off the victim

Meat-Head
17th April, 2012, 10:45 PM
I should add that, there genuinely was a rape in my area on Saturday night/Sunday morning by someone with a boxer dog...


WHOA WHOA HANG ON.

Did the fuzz interview your Dawg?

OFF TOPIC:-

Whilst playing with my cell phone, never realised how 'good' the cell sector tracking location thing is - close to 80 meters.

STILL OFF TOPIC:-

Do beleive that if your cell phone is on Orange(TM) as part of their terms and conditions, you agree to be tracked at all times.

So although 'not much proff' if there is any come back, it's worth mentioing.

Hope you told the fuzz on duty, you will be making a thread on DK AND a formal complaint to the fuzz complaints commision.

DJSimo
18th April, 2012, 07:30 AM
Look at this then you could have been looking at a few years behind bars......

northamptonchron.co.uk/news/national/sleepwalking-claim-rapist-jailed (http://www.northamptonchron.co.uk/news/national/sleepwalking-claim-rapist-jailed-1-3680356)

ecufix
18th April, 2012, 09:57 AM
Dr Jekyll glad you got outa that one , please go home and look after Mr Hyde lol

RedSpider
18th April, 2012, 10:23 AM
Who takes a dog out for a rape?

it brings a new meaning to the term 'dogging'

gc1966
18th April, 2012, 03:23 PM
~~~~ the dna wiped from the records,it would be the stains in my undercrackers that i would struggle to remove

masur123
7th May, 2012, 07:42 PM
Teenager due in court on sex attack charges - Local - Northamptonshire Evening Telegraph (http://www.northantset.co.uk/news/local/teenager-due-in-court-on-sex-attack-charges-1-3807248)

I believe this is the incident in question, and must admit I am slightly flattered as I am nearly 40 and a 19 year old has been arrested!!

andy91
7th May, 2012, 08:03 PM
Great story and thanks for sharing.
Was having a crap day and after reading your story it made me chuckle just glad all ok.

Andy.

Meat-Head
17th May, 2012, 08:50 PM
HIJACK:

Would be intresting to know what the fuzz think of posts like this:

Apart from a very UNeducatied person (spelling bad on purpose)


i run after victims, i run away from police. i lift children into my car.. ~~~~ gyms