aleister crowley
14th May, 2012, 11:47 PM
This morning I was sat there enjoying a nice sh*t to start the week when I heard the phone ringing, thinking it might be important (well, why wouldn't it be?) I decided to try and get there before it stopped and thus not incur any charges calling them back if I did, indeed, wish to speak to them.
I reckoned I was about finished with the morning's movement anyway so after a wipe and polish I went to stand up. It was about 35% into the positioning that I realised I really wasn't finished and that if I tried this I would probably be mid call when the inevitable would befall me and I'd ruin an only recently run in pair of Calveen Kleiners (?5 down the market for 15 pairs)
After the obligatory cry of "abort, abort" I went to sit back down and pick up where I'd left off. Unfortunately in the rush to get up and pull my jeans up the back of my belt had caught on the toilet seat lifting it while I stood, as I sat back down my todger flopped between the seat and the porcelain and before the cold of the toilet on the bottom of my mighty member told me something was wrong the seat came back down and I landed on it with a thud which quickly turned to a girly shriek
I tried to stand up but my magnificent glans held firm to the lip of the toilet seat like a barbed hook in the mouth of a cold, white predator.
Still crying like a girl I managed to lift the seat and retrieve my pork sword.
My poor bruised c*ck now looks like a mushroom someones squashed in a car door and has retreated so far into my body that it looks like my nut sack has been fitted with a doorbell.
I reckoned I was about finished with the morning's movement anyway so after a wipe and polish I went to stand up. It was about 35% into the positioning that I realised I really wasn't finished and that if I tried this I would probably be mid call when the inevitable would befall me and I'd ruin an only recently run in pair of Calveen Kleiners (?5 down the market for 15 pairs)
After the obligatory cry of "abort, abort" I went to sit back down and pick up where I'd left off. Unfortunately in the rush to get up and pull my jeans up the back of my belt had caught on the toilet seat lifting it while I stood, as I sat back down my todger flopped between the seat and the porcelain and before the cold of the toilet on the bottom of my mighty member told me something was wrong the seat came back down and I landed on it with a thud which quickly turned to a girly shriek
I tried to stand up but my magnificent glans held firm to the lip of the toilet seat like a barbed hook in the mouth of a cold, white predator.
Still crying like a girl I managed to lift the seat and retrieve my pork sword.
My poor bruised c*ck now looks like a mushroom someones squashed in a car door and has retreated so far into my body that it looks like my nut sack has been fitted with a doorbell.