Mileage correction in Birmingham area

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I think I may have posted in the wrong section, so re-posted it here as well.


What is the market like for mileage correction and vehicle diagnostic business in the Birmingham area?

A relative of mine is starting up in that area and asked me to find out what the market was like?

No doubt loads already doing it, but he has all the right kit,
so I suppose he will survive!

[smartymarti]

I cover b ham all cars 10 euro obd ha ha , watch how fast I get undercut on here

[Shady]

i do them for 25p each or a quarter of bonbons from the sweet shop

[captain crackers]

Isn't Humpfree the lamplighter from that area? Arthur.

[MarkPRP]

I know most people round here...
There is at least 5 I know of..

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Well this fella wont be beaten!

He has all the kit and wants to rule the area!
I tried telling him, but he wont listen!

Look out Birmingham

[Shady]

well if its cheaper than 25p then he must be doing piss poor work

[MarkPRP]

Cool, I always get work when people mess up EZS!

Ill meet him eventually!

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Cool, I always get work when people mess up EZS!

Ill meet him eventually!

I dont think he will mess up an ezs, he was a development technician for Motorola for 15 years!!! He uses a motorola development board just for playtime!!!!

[ALEXEI]

Z786 rulez in Birmingham . LOL

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Z786 rulez in Birmingham . LOL

maybe not for long!!!!!! [brother]

he has a dashfixer pro

[ALEXEI]

finally depend on advertising the services and prices.
this is not my fight
in my city with 500 000 habitants we are more than 20 correctionguys. there is enough work for all

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

finally depend on advertising the services and prices.
this is not my fight
in my city with 500 000 habitants we are more than 20 correctionguys. there is enough work for all

Thats what i told him!

Enough work for everybody.

He sent me pics of the van he has selected, nice idea, but very expensive setup, all the toys.

He was asking my advice whether he should spend money on big mailshots or just the website, my advice was forget the website, spend a big amount on saturation mailshots, yes?

[captain crackers]

TULGEYWOODMAN, it might be a good idea if he got a job working for someone in a garage in the first place while he builds up his business. Arthur.

[Meat-Head]

Enough work for everybody.

He sent me pics of the van he has selected, nice idea, but very expensive setup, all the toys.

?


Might be worth him keeping a few sets of jump leads on stock - to sell to people who have jumped their cars off and IN-corrected their milages.

There is/was a thread somethinglike "dp3 not work youtube vid" or something, Z had a shouting match with somebody, only quick viewed it.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

TULGEYWOODMAN, it might be a good idea if he got a job working for someone in a garage in the first place while he builds up his business. Arthur.

why?
do you think that would be a good idea?

I will suggest that to him, do you think he could get a job easy? He
has got big hands!

[captain crackers]

I am sure he would be able to find work With his electronic background, I think he could achieve much more than just a garage gopher. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I am sure he would be able to find work With his electronic background, I think he could achieve much more than just a garage gopher. Arthur.

just spoke on the phone to him, he now has the hots for a garage job in Birmingham area! dont believe this! Why oh why would he want to get covered in shite?

[captain crackers]

TULGEYWOODMAN, no, with his background he wouldn't be covered in grease, possibly a little solder flux. These places already have grease balls. His biggest problem would be listening to all the rubbish the grease balls would be spouting. Arthur.

[Meat-Head]

His biggest problem would be listening to all the rubbish the grease balls would be spouting. Arthur.

agree, telling him how low they can get their shaso's and how loud there steros are :manuscarf:

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

agree, telling him how low they can get their shaso's and how loud there steros are :manuscarf:

His biggest problem in that area would be dealing with the tosser that used to sell tacho universals to everyone. he he he

[Meat-Head]

His biggest problem in that area would be dealing with the tosser that used to sell tacho universals to everyone. he he he

Got any left?

Would like one to stick in my man bag - not paying that much postage from China.

[ALEXEI]

the person in discusion is from UK or imigrant ?
not my problem but Im thinking to someone with same description

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Got any left?

Would like one to stick in my man bag - not paying that much postage from China.

I cant mention his name because he is a DK member.

My first original dashfixer ended up in his hands , he then tried to sell clones as original dashfixers [forgetting about the chrome screen surround on the original diga]


to be honest, your better off with one of them than a clone carprog!

[captain crackers]

TULGEYWOODMAN, is this relative the chap you told me about a long while ago, who helped you with some micro problems. Isn't he American but now living in England. Those top Americans don't mess about and like you say he will have all the top equipment. No Chinese tools I'll bet. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

TULGEYWOODMAN, is this relative the chap you told me about a long while ago, who helped you with some micro problems. Isn't he American but now living in England. Those top Americans don't mess about and like you say he will have all the top equipment. No Chinese tools I'll bet. Arthur.

Yes he was born in uk but has lived in the US for a long time.

He takes no shit though, typical American, brash, push everyone out the way type.

[captain crackers]

TULGEYWOODMAN, have you done a deal with him not to come to your area? He should liven up the midlands mileage scene. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

TULGEYWOODMAN, have you done a deal with him not to come to your area? He should liven up the midlands mileage scene. Arthur.

He had a large property left to him near Warwick,thats why he decided on Birmingham area.
His wife is Asian and has some relatives close by, so he may have a foot in the door already!

In fairness, he is a nice chap and very clever when it comes to automotive stuff.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

the person in discusion is from UK or imigrant ?
not my problem but Im thinking to someone with same description

I know him and I think you know him too !



ps we are all immigrants!

[ALEXEI]

I know him and I think you know him too !



ps we are all immigrants!

thanks for answer
Im out

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

TULGEYWOODMAN, is this relative the chap you told me about a long while ago, who helped you with some micro problems. Isn't he American but now living in England. Those top Americans don't mess about and like you say he will have all the top equipment. No Chinese tools I'll bet. Arthur.

Thinking about it, he mentioned an idea that might work.

He is intending on setting up a franchise opertion, initially in the Midlands. Very little deposit required, he supplies the equipment and provides the training for mileage correction and vehicle diagnostics, a true mobile service, cheap fixed rates to the customer [very competitive], sounds like a winner.

[drakov]

Thinking about it, he mentioned an idea that might work.

He is intending on setting up a franchise opertion, initially in the Midlands. Very little deposit required, he supplies the equipment and provides the training for mileage correction and vehicle diagnostics, a true mobile service, cheap fixed rates to the customer [very competitive], sounds like a winner.

Sounds to me like he is a clueless tosser who has no idea? What's worse he has a relative who seems to be offering advise (well he is certainly asking the opinion of others he generally has no respect for anyway) on what he should do?

The best advise I can offer is, if he has a plan go for it, if it dont work at least he gave it a go albeit maybe ill advised but he ho welcome to the real world.

P. S. couldnt help notice your reference to carprog
P.P.S Couldn't help notice your level of activity on this forum since the release of carprog clones

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Well, you know what relatives are like!

ps He doesnt own a carprog!

[4hillbilly]

out here in the wild wild land of australia we have a saying --- i'd rather be a hasbeen than a dreamer----:proud::fight:lol:bounce:

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

out here in the wild wild land of australia we have a saying --- i'd rather be a hasbeen than a dreamer----:proud::fight:lol:bounce:

quite right.
I will tell him to go for it!

[z786]

lol lol lol
in birmingham mate, hes gta work for pennies to get work

tossers out here charging 20 quid for 2011 platers

tell him z786 says good luck

[z786]

im moving to tugley wood, apparently good money out there :D

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

lol lol lol
in birmingham mate, hes gta work for pennies to get work

tossers out here charging 20 quid for 2011 platers

tell him z786 says good luck

Are you saying that I should tell him to charge ?20 for 2011 cars?

He isnt bothered what price, just didnt want to be out of kilter with the local prices.

He is sorting a price list this week that he intends to mailshot.

Good job you said about the 20 quid prices, I think he was going to quote more!
[I think his idea was to charge a flat rate for all cars, easy/hard/new/old]

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

im moving to tugley wood, apparently good money out there :D

Well my customers are so loyal, they wouldnt change even if they where offered money by another mileage corrector!!!




ps Alice says "Its sunny in Tulgeywood today", [the property prices are a bit steep, but the crime rate is low!]

[captain crackers]

Do I read the "Midlands Mafia" whingeing again? Simple answer, MOVE. Because it is unlikely the Midlands will move away from you! Arthur.

[Shady]

im not moving. i love tamworth. dont have to do what you say

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

im not moving. i love tamworth. dont have to do what you say

luvly place,

home of Reliant...........and a ski slope?



You could come and live in Tulgeywood by me, sunshine,cars with 4 wheels,tea parties,rabbits......

[Shady]

houses now the reliant factory.

REAL SNOW ski slope. so there

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

houses now the reliant factory.

REAL SNOW ski slope. so there

yes I knew it was real snow, they had it before anywhere else I think.
Eddie the Eagle used to train there.

[Shady]

indeed... well first in europe definately

[Meat-Head]

I cant mention his name because he is a DK member.

No idea who it is, but would mention user name if knew.


thanks for answer
Im out

Still no idea


lol lol lol
tossers out here charging 20 quid for 2011 platers


Are you saying that I should tell him to charge ?20 for 2011 cars?

He isnt bothered what price, just didnt want to be out of kilter with the local prices.

He is sorting a price list this week that he intends to mailshot.




WHOA, hang on, NO OFFENSE, not pissing on any body's starwberrys
or anything, but advertising milage IN-correcton on a 2011 car, is going to rise a few eyebrows.

NOBODY will want to buy ANY car from ANYBODY.

Yes there GENUINE cases of milage corrections, but mail shotting, 1 wrong person and the law gets changed.

OFF TOPIC BUT PARTLY RELEVENT:-


Like the speeding ****stable who dednied he was driving, law was then changed!

MANY MANY years ago some village ~~~~ knows where, had speeding moterists, so the villergers complained to the parrish council, and the top coluncler, asked the local fuzz to do a speed trap.

FIRST car, of the day, speeding, parrish councllers wife - for some reason, fuzz wasn't asked again in that village to speed check!

STILL OFF TOPIC:-

NO IDEA why but in Spain it is ILLEGAL to tow a car, HAS to be on a tow truck.

Just susspose that happened here, and whilst there at it, make milage 'correctiosn' 100% illegal - even genuine cases.

[smirnoff_rules]

No idea who it is, but would mention user name if knew.



Still no idea






WHOA, hang on, NO OFFENSE, not pissing on any body's starwberrys
or anything, but advertising milage IN-correcton on a 2011 car, is going to rise a few eyebrows.

NOBODY will want to buy ANY car from ANYBODY.

Yes there GENUINE cases of milage corrections, but mail shotting, 1 wrong person and the law gets changed.

OFF TOPIC BUT PARTLY RELEVENT:-


Like the speeding ****stable who dednied he was driving, law was then changed!

MANY MANY years ago some village ~~~~ knows where, had speeding moterists, so the villergers complained to the parrish council, and the top coluncler, asked the local fuzz to do a speed trap.

FIRST car, of the day, speeding, parrish councllers wife - for some reason, fuzz wasn't asked again in that village to speed check!

STILL OFF TOPIC:-

NO IDEA why but in Spain it is ILLEGAL to tow a car, HAS to be on a tow truck.

Just susspose that happened here, and whilst there at it, make milage 'correctiosn' 100% illegal - even genuine cases.
wot about z786 or something like that , hes in birmingham .. MH might remember is name

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

WHOA, hang on, NO OFFENSE, not pissing on any body's starwberrys
or anything, but advertising milage IN-correcton on a 2011 car, is going to rise a few eyebrows.



Is that any difference between advertising mileage correction on a 2007 and a 2012?

[Meat-Head]

Is that any difference between advertising mileage correction on a 2007 and a 2012?

what mean is people think in-correcting is illegal
so the dog and bone at trading standards will be ringing off the hook!!

mite be best working for an autoelecrtrical place
r

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

what mean is people think in-correcting is illegal
so the dog and bone at trading standards will be ringing off the hook!!

mite be best working for an autoelecrtrical place
r

He has done quite a bit on car diagnostics, that was one of his jobs in U.S.
He is into all the canbus shit, far too tricky for me.
I am only chasing the money!
He chases the money but is clever as well!

I will mention to him that he should think about starting up an Auto electric place that does diagnostics and m.c.

[Meat-Head]

yes last thung he wants is trading standards sniffing around.

asking him ti in-correct something as a scam saying its to make money

ADVERTESMENT:_

Z786 motors do not in-correct if fraud suspected

[captain crackers]

AS he won't be known in Birmingham maybe he will be able to find the name of the Dashfixer conman. Hope he hasn't got an American accent though. Arthur.

[z786]

advertising prices is abit tricky mate, dont wanna expose ur game, niether do u wanna step on peoples toes

very bad idea in brum, crime rate is very high mate, and as for the brum mafia, im not complainin, far to busy for that :)

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

advertising prices is abit tricky mate, dont wanna expose ur game, niether do u wanna step on peoples toes

very bad idea in brum, crime rate is very high mate, and as for the brum mafia, im not complainin, far to busy for that :)

I told him that, but he is adamant that the best way forward is to offer a price list.

He was surprised that ?20 was the bench mark in Birmingham though.

He`s not bothered about stepping on toes, he said Chicago didnt bother him so Birmingham wont either!

[Shady]

he sounds like a right arsehole

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

he sounds like a right arsehole

He is......

you know what they say...you can pick your friends, but you cant pick your relations

[Shady]

anjelina jolie does

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

and whilst there at it, make milage 'correctiosn' 100% illegal - even genuine cases.

OOOOOOOOOOh luvly, the prices would go up then
:jiggin::jiggin::jiggin:

[captain crackers]

If it is made 100% illegal in England there will be a lot of people on here looking for a new hobby! Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

loads of hobbies available still in Birmingham area
after prohibition !


chip tuning............?15
air bag ecu`s........?12
x5 pixel repairs.....?28
fault code reading.?6
window tinting......?22

plus lots more I havent thought of

[captain crackers]

Train driving? Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

greese ball? [monkee].....[obd teknishan]

[captain crackers]

Story teller? Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

ski slope attendant ?



yankee boy has just emailed me.

He reckons the ?20 post was a wind up, back to his original plan of fixed price for all cars young and old.

[captain crackers]

Possibly, owing to the plethora of Mileage correctors in and around Birmingham, it will only be made illegal to do it in this area. Perhaps that is why quite a few of my customers now drive from the Midlands to my house to have their work done. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Possibly, owing to the plethora of Mileage correctors in and around Birmingham, it will only be made illegal to do it in this area. Perhaps that is why quite a few of my customers now drive from the Midlands to my house to have their work done. Arthur.

You as well?
I have a guy who drives from Coventry to have his Mercedes done, he likes to have mileage locations like the tyre pressure monitor,battery sensor, electric seat mileage memory, etc done as well.
I have suggested he tries locally, but he will have none of it.....big money as well.

[z786]

every1 out there says "im expensive" but in reality they r cheap, thats why a price list is useless

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

2011 merc ML ?275.....cheap or expensive? you tell me


yankee doodle will be doing it a lot cheaper in brumingam though, no doubt.

I have not guided him on tools. He has all the stuff already.

[Meat-Head]

yankee boy has just emailed me.

He reckons the ?20 post was a wind up, back to his original plan of fixed price for all cars young and old.


Does your reletive not want to join us here on the WORLDS best website?

ON TOPIC:-

If he is mobile rather than workshop

1) No overheads - council tax, water bills etc etc
BUT you can't charge ?60+VAT for a 10 min job - not that M-H-M
would do that - also if you travel somewhere and it's a dead loss job
you have lost time, fuel and money

2) Having premsis - some places you can rent a 'slot' - like hairdressers
rent chairs in salons - could he find a slot to rent?

3) REMIND him we drive on the left

4) Not sure what you other guys do, but at M-H-M our public
liability is ?6,000,000 (? SIX MILLION) - was on the orginal
form ?60 but we made a mistake with the photocopier - was
aiming for ?60.00 :alberteinstein:

5) Mail shot - if he really wants to - might be worth just doing
certain areas - he dosn't want to have to turn work away
because he is TOO busy.

We send work to our rivals, and they send stuff to us when were
busy. We send them up there, they ring up 10 mins later, can we book it in with you!

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I will tell him you invited him.

[captain crackers]

I have always charged a price which I consider fair to both the customer and myself. To some people it may be cheap others might think it expensive but they keep coming back. I do not discuss what I charge on forums, enough to say it has kept me going for over 20 years working 95% with digital dashboards. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Does your reletive not want to join us here on the WORLDS best website?

ON TOPIC:-

If he is mobile rather than workshop

1) No overheads - council tax, water bills etc etc
BUT you can't charge ?60+VAT for a 10 min job - not that M-H-M
would do that - also if you travel somewhere and it's a dead loss job
you have lost time, fuel and money

2) Having premsis - some places you can rent a 'slot' - like hairdressers
rent chairs in salons - could he find a slot to rent?

3) REMIND him we drive on the left

4) Not sure what you other guys do, but at M-H-M our public
liability is ?6,000,000 (? SIX MILLION) - was on the orginal
form ?60 but we made a mistake with the photocopier - was
aiming for ?60.00 :alberteinstein:

5) Mail shot - if he really wants to - might be worth just doing
certain areas - he dosn't want to have to turn work away
because he is TOO busy.

We send work to our rivals, and they send stuff to us when were
busy. We send them up there, they ring up 10 mins later, can we book it in with you!
His intention is a workshop with rolling road etc.

offering auto electrics, race tuning and rally car preparation, diagnostics, mileage correction plus a mobile service
He will be getting grease monkey`s to do the graft while he manages. I think its a sort of hobby.


The hairdresser thing was very clever of you...........haircuts..ha ha

[captain crackers]

I work entirely from home. Overheads, approx zero. Arthur.

[captain crackers]

Tulgywoodman, did he work with you when you were doing the rallys? Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Tulgywoodman, did he work with you when you were doing the rallys? Arthur.

No but he was involved with a team on the Paris -Dakar.
He is an arrogant sod, but is very clever.

[z786]

those grease monkeys will learn the trade, 6 months down the line buy there own machines and kick ur cousin up his ass, then charge 10 pound corrections

another one on the bandwagon lol

[Meat-Head]

2011 merc ML ?275.....cheap or expensive? you tell me.


I would say cheap.

Is this a therortal question, or one you HAVE IN-correceted - sorry 'reprogrammed customers memory'?


What was the car worth with high miles/ extra cost per mile.



(http://www.carquest-rentals.com/prices/Carquest_Office.asp)
for local car hire. (http://www.carquest-rentals.com/prices/Carquest_Office.asp)

All prices include CDW and VAT. For rentals of 1 to 3 days, there is a mileage allowance of 150 miles per day. Excess miles are charged at 12p per mile inclusive of VAT.
For rentals of 4 days or more, there is an unlimited mileage allowance.
Weekend is considered 1700hrs Friday to 0900 Monday (300 mile limit).
(http://www.carquest-rentals.com/prices/Carquest_Office.asp)



Honda Civic 1.4i-VTEC SE3 + 35 payments6 + 35 payments 35 monthly rentals of?189.00 (ex VAT)?175.00 (ex VAT) Initial rental?567.00 (ex VAT)?1050.00 (ex VAT) Excess mileage7.35p per mile (ex VAT)7.35p per mile (ex VAT)

Honda Civic Diesel 2.2i-DTEC SE3 + 35 payments 35 monthly rentals of?188.00 (ex VAT) Initial rental?564.00 (ex VAT) Excess mileage






All cars are provided with a mileage allowance of 100 miles per day.

Additional miles are charged as follows:

Smart Cars - 20p per mile
Fiat 500 Abarth ? 30p per mile
Mini Cooper & Mini Cooper S - 30p per mile
Mini Cooper Convertible & Mini Cooper S Convertible - 30p per mile
Audi S4 Convertible - 40p per mile
Range Rover Vogue Supercharged ? 50p per mile
Porsche Boxster S - ?1.00 per mile
Range Rover Evoque - ?1.25 per mile
Range Rover Sport 3.0L TDV6 - ?1.25 per mile
Mercedes S-Class S350 - ?1.25 per mile
Mercedes S63 AMG - ?2.00 per mile
Aston Martin V8 Vantage - ?2.00 per mile
Audi R8 - ?2.00 per mile

Tulgywoodman, did he work with you when you were doing the rallys? Arthur.

Tulgywoodman, sorry mate, going to have to ask, your not that bloke from Meat-City - the one into EVERYTHING?

The same guy who sent blokes all over Ingland for sod all return?

If your the same bloke, then think there was more people from the funeral parlor that turned up for the funeral than mouners.

[z786]

btw 1 fixed price?
so obd correction 15 quid, merc sprinter 15 quid aswell?

[captain crackers]

"Learn the trade"! what trade? Surely you don't class mileage correction as a trade. It's like saying ticket touting is a trade. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

btw 1 fixed price?
so obd correction 15 quid, merc sprinter 15 quid aswell?

you said it was ?20, he was going to charge a little bit more because of his expertise.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I would say cheap.

Is this a therortal question, or one you HAVE IN-correceted - sorry 'reprogrammed customers memory'?


What was the car worth with high miles/ extra cost per mile.




real car

Tulgywoodman, sorry mate, going to have to ask, your not that bloke from Meat-City - the one into EVERYTHING?

The same guy who sent blokes all over Ingland for sod all return?

If your the same bloke, then think there was more people from the funeral parlor that turned up for the funeral than mouners.

could be......you`ll never know!

[Meat-Head]

"Learn the trade"! what trade? Surely you don't class mileage correction as a trade. It's like saying ticket touting is a trade. Arthur.


*CONFUSED*

SLIGHTLY OFF TOPIC:-

What do you put on insurancse forms etc etc

Do you put "Milage IN-corrector" or something else.

As for ticket touting and cannbis growning, some folks make a living out of it - like all the blokes selling ~~~~ dvd's out the boot of their cars!

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

*CONFUSED*

SLIGHTLY OFF TOPIC:-

What do you put on insurancse forms etc etc

Do you put "Milage IN-corrector" or something else.

As for ticket touting and cannbis growning, some folks make a living out of it - like all the blokes selling ~~~~ dvd's out the boot of their cars!

insurance forms?...your obsessed with insurance!

good thread this aint it?

[Meat-Head]

insurance forms?...your obsessed with insurance!

good thread this aint it?


*STILL CONFUSED*

You started a thread asking for some kind of input - you got it - some people don't think of things when starting a bussiness.

Like the UK VAT threashold is ?20,000 or something, before we EVEN did anything, M-H-M was VAT regestard - from day one.

[captain crackers]

?73,000 before the crocodile opens it's jaws. Talking through your OBD socket again. Arthur

[Meat-Head]

?73,000 before the crocodile opens it's jaws. Talking through your OBD socket again. Arthur


Perhaps M-H-M was been in bussines longer than advertised!

Though it was 20k - not going to argue.

[z786]

not every1 can solder, not every1 can understand the science behind it, therefore it becomes a trade, it makes people money and some people enuff to buy toast and tea

[Meat-Head]

not every1 can solder, not every1 can understand the science behind it, therefore it becomes a trade,


YES - valid point.

Just to assist you with that post.

Because we specalise in damage to vechiles, we are all trained to a high standard. Certain critera MUST be met.

Cat 1/2 alarm systems, MUST have two earths a minimum of 30 CM apart.
indpently fused, secured to the chassis with a minimum of 1 self tapping screw and spring washer.

Have had stuff with cat 1 alarms, one earth no fuse, and unit stuffeed behind a heater vent. - Secutiry housing removed - no bonnet switch or trunk trigger.

So even with certificates, you don't always get your moneys worth.

ALSO have seen cat 1 alarms, wiring just twisted NOT soldered.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

*CONFUSED*

SLIGHTLY OFF TOPIC:-

What do you put on insurancse forms etc etc



dont have any!

"off topic"

The alarms the scientists fit at M-H-M.......Are they called CAT 1 etc, because they make a loud screeching noise in the middle of the night?


Are the MHM scientists trained and certificated to the same standard as the rest of the Birmingham scientists, or higher?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

those grease monkeys will learn the trade, 6 months down the line buy there own machines and kick ur cousin up his ass, then charge 10 pound corrections

another one on the bandwagon lol

Do you speak from experience?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

not every1 can solder,


You can say that again!,


" not every1 can understand the science behind it"


I would never have guessed!..............as one scientist to another..........What setting do you have your toaster on?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

*STILL CONFUSED*

You started a thread asking for some kind of input - you got it - some people don't think of things when starting a bussiness.

Like the UK VAT threashold is ?20,000 or something, before we EVEN did anything, M-H-M was VAT regestard - from day one.

To try and un-confuse you...............
I started the thread for input,yes, may I thank all in-putters for the contributions.

yes you are quite correct, some people dont think of things when starting a business,like going to the take - away,posting on DK, filling in the vat return, etc etc.

I am glad to hear that MHM registered for vat asap....This will ensure that MHM is contributing to the running of our welfare state, ensuring the needy are kept in the manner to which they have become accustomed.
"off topic"

My relative is also starting a franchise with chinese takeaways throughout the country. They will supply chinese clone programmers and electronic equpt from the takeaway shops......no more waiting in for DHL!

[captain crackers]

Z786, "not every1 can solder, not every1 can understand the science behind it", Well that covers quite a few on this forum! It is possibly the use of the word "trade" as far as work goes that I think is wrong. I think of the job a a service and you, I and others as the provider of this service.

"it makes people money and some people enuff to buy toast and tea". I think the tea and toast thing went over peoples heads. It refers to the fact that I only work from home and as such have time between jobs in my own house rather than driving to the next job. Look at it this way. Someone on the road with say 4 quick jobs and 1 awkward job in a day. Quite a lot of driving and possible problem with the awkward job could make for a long day and customers kept waiting. For me the customer leaves the awkward job at the house until it is finished. The quick jobs, I work around the awkward one thus saving time and also the expense incurred with travelling to and from the jobs. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Z786, "not every1 can solder, not every1 can understand the science behind it", Well that covers quite a few on this forum! It is possibly the use of the word "trade" as far as work goes that I think is wrong. I think of the job a a service and you, I and others as the provider of this service.

"it makes people money and some people enuff to buy toast and tea". I think the tea and toast thing went over peoples heads. It refers to the fact that I only work from home and as such have time between jobs in my own house rather than driving to the next job. Look at it this way. Someone on the road with say 4 quick jobs and 1 awkward job in a day. Quite a lot of driving and possible problem with the awkward job could make for a long day and customers kept waiting. For me the customer leaves the awkward job at the house until it is finished. The quick jobs, I work around the awkward one thus saving time and also the expense incurred with travelling to and from the jobs. Arthur.

a very scientific approach

[captain crackers]

Children are taught hexadecimal and the art of soldering at school. That leaves pressing the relative buttons and the removal and replacement of clusters, EZS etc. That part of the job must be the "science". Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I would say cheap.

Is this a therortal question, or one you HAVE IN-correceted - sorry 'reprogrammed customers memory'?


What was the car worth with high miles/ extra cost per mile.



All cars are provided with a mileage allowance of 100 miles per day.

Additional miles are charged as follows:
Smart Cars - 20p per mile
Fiat 500 Abarth ? 30p per mile
Mini Cooper & Mini Cooper S - 30p per mile
Mini Cooper Convertible & Mini Cooper S Convertible - 30p per mile
Audi S4 Convertible - 40p per mile
Range Rover Vogue Supercharged ? 50p per mile
Porsche Boxster S - ?1.00 per mile
Range Rover Evoque - ?1.25 per mile
Range Rover Sport 3.0L TDV6 - ?1.25 per mile
Mercedes S-Class S350 - ?1.25 per mile
Mercedes S63 AMG - ?2.00 per mile
Aston Martin V8 Vantage - ?2.00 per mile
Audi R8 - ?2.00 per mile




I havent got a clue what all that pence a mile stuff is!

The job had nothing to do with that.

customer rings up because he told his wife he had been on business trip to Italy, taking samples in the car. He actually had been having a dirty weekend with his PA.

He had spent 3 nights in her apartment and done only 30 miles in the car.

My job was to increase the mileage to make it appear to his wife that he had driven to Italy and back. [she uses the car for the school run, so would have noticed the mileage discrepency]

I hope this clarifies the position.
I ask the question again...cheap or expensive?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Children are taught hexadecimal and the art of soldering at school. That leaves pressing the relative buttons and the removal and replacement of clusters, EZS etc. That part of the job must be the "science". Arthur.

As one artist to another...............................Do you prefer being called an artist or a scientist?

[captain crackers]

"the science behind it". I have never laughed so much since my granny got her t*ts caught in the mangle. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

"the science behind it". I have never laughed so much since my granny got her t*ts caught in the mangle. Arthur.









I remember those mangles, they where called "The Appliance of Science"

[captain crackers]

Birmingham, the science capital of England. Arthur.

[captain crackers]

Just looked at a scientific instrument catalogue on line, Guess what, you can find TU, UPA clone, and Carprog full, Snap on spanners, socket sets and screwdrivers all listed. Arthur.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Just looked at a scientific instrument catalogue on line, Guess what, you can find TU, UPA clone, and Carprog full, Snap on spanners, socket sets and screwdrivers all listed. Arthur.

Best send the link to all the scientists in Birmingham area

[captain crackers]

For those who think it is a TRADE. Have a look here and search for mileage correction! City & Guilds | UK Qualifications (http://www.cityandguilds.com/uk-qualifications.html) Arthur.

[z786]

not speaking from experience but have seen it happen twice, niether am i a scientist, u clearly do not understand the word science, the same way u dont understand the word "troll"

off topic

i bought a carprog clone, i own an original but couldnt afford to buy the cables from carprog, for pennies i got the complete set of cables plus a backup carprog which i must say looks better than original (bet that has made ur ass boil) lol

u remind me of them whistles only a dog can hear, soon as u see the word carprog clone u go wild :D

[z786]

lol this next paraghraph sums up u lot

"i am arthur, i am 100 years old, i have been doin this job since nobody else that makes me my alternate ego captain crackers fighting dashboard crime, i therefore have the rite to look down at people, talk a load of shite, i sell upa adaptors and that makes me an inventor so i must be something big, yet i am humble because i charge whats fair on me and my customers, i eat toast and crumpets, la di fcukin da,my side kick tugley woodman is here so we can have a good old laugh with people, we are so funny."

lol lol

the only funny thing is ur jokes are shite

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

not speaking from experience but have seen it happen twice, niether am i a scientist, u clearly do not understand the word science, the same way u dont understand the word "troll"


"Confused"...........What have you seen happen twice?


I have a trolling valve on my Merry Fisher, it slips the clutch and enables me to" troll" when fishing



[for land-locked people in Birmingham who didnt know, a Merry Fisher is a boat]

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

lol this next paraghraph sums up u lot

"i am arthur, i am 100 years old, i have been doin this job since nobody else that makes me my alternate ego captain crackers fighting dashboard crime, i therefore have the rite to look down at people, talk a load of shite, i sell upa adaptors and that makes me an inventor so i must be something big, yet i am humble because i charge whats fair on me and my customers, i eat toast and crumpets, la di fcukin da,my side kick tugley woodman is here so we can have a good old laugh with people, we are so funny."

lol lol

the only funny thing is ur jokes are shite


I thought the granny mangle joke was ok

[and my response quite witty!]


do you like my avatar?

[Meat-Head]

tully mate trying to keep on topic
but we are qualified at m-h-m will keep it breif but

20//40/100/2
0/500 meter swim certificates

basic food hygene - mac d

FULLY licensed to drive a typewriter, telex machine or word processer at speeds upto 35 WPM ----- 3 years running - cetificates on top of certificates in a frame on wall


hth

meat

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

tully mate trying to keep on topic
but we are qualified at m-h-m will keep it breif but

20//40/100/2
0/500 meter swim certificates

basic food hygene - mac d

FULLY licensed to drive a typewriter, telex machine or word processer at speeds upto 35 WPM ----- 3 years running - cetificates on top of certificates in a frame on wall


hth

meat


good morning, another early start I see.

Well done on the swimming, was that a long time ago?........................on topic as well, congrats.

[z786]

joke, no
response witty, no
avatar, whatever floats your merry fisher lol

see that last one?? that was fcuking witty

on a level, are you like a 100 years old aswell, u knw ur crackers side kick so u must be in the region

i heard u knew burger king since he was a prince? lol

see another funny one, maybe your jokes are still stuck in the last century mate

as for the **confusion** it happens to oaps, i seen "grease monkeys" takin over the businesses

[Meat-Head]

I havent got a clue what all that pence a mile stuff is!

The job had nothing to do with that.

customer rings up because he told his wife he had been on business trip to Italy, taking samples in the car. He actually had been having a dirty weekend with his PA.

He had spent 3 nights in her apartment and done only 30 miles in the car.

My job was to increase the mileage to make it appear to his wife that he had driven to Italy and back. [she uses the car for the school run, so would have noticed the mileage discrepency]

I hope this clarifies the position.
I ask the question again...cheap or expensive?





quoting posts makes threads longer onell phone in bed

that WAS cheap

type in google 'cost of divorce' that would have been alterntive cost

can expect a bmw driver to do it but a merc driver?

on topic

why did you not just wind the head up?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

quoting posts makes threads longer onell phone in bed

that WAS cheap

type in google 'cost of divorce' that would have been alterntive cost

can expect a bmw driver to do it but a merc driver?

on topic

why did you not just wind the head up?

Why did I not just wind the head up?
Do you mean why did I not just plug in obd and change the mileage diagnostically?

Yes, thats what I did, 30 seconds work to change the miles!

cheap or expensive?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

joke, no
response witty, no
avatar, whatever floats your merry fisher lol

see that last one?? that was fcuking witty

on a level, are you like a 100 years old aswell, u knw ur crackers side kick so u must be in the region

i heard u knew burger king since he was a prince? lol

see another funny one, maybe your jokes are still stuck in the last century mate

as for the **confusion** it happens to oaps, i seen "grease monkeys" takin over the businesses

Can we stay on topic please?

In Birmingham area again, we are agreed then that grease monkeys are operating in this area, doing mileage correction?

[Meat-Head]

if he knew expensive and akuard

if he left you the car whilst he knobed her cheap donmatter if head higher km

price fuel and ferry to italy

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

maybe your jokes are still stuck in the last century mate



you mean like Arthurs grannys t*ts stuck in the mangle?:dong:

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

if he knew expensive and akuard

if he left you the car whilst he knobed her cheap donmatter if head higher km

price fuel and ferry to italy

"confused again"

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

if he knew expensive and akuard

if he left you the car whilst he knobed her cheap donmatter if head higher km

price fuel and ferry to italy

"confused again"


maybe you are off topic now!

[PremierD]

Now on topic STFU... closed