I got really drunk last night and puked on my best shirt. I knew I was in big trouble with the wife until my mate suggested I put a ?10 note in my shirt pocket.
He said, "Just tell her some drunk puked on you and feeling guilty he gave you the tenner for cleaning the shirt."
So I did and in the morning the wife found my shirt and started yelling, "You were drunk last night and puked on your shirt!"
"No," I replied, "Some drunk puked on me and gave me ?10 to clean the shirt."
The wife said, "Then why did I find ?20 in your shirt pocket?"
"He shit in my pants too."
He said, "Just tell her some drunk puked on you and feeling guilty he gave you the tenner for cleaning the shirt."
So I did and in the morning the wife found my shirt and started yelling, "You were drunk last night and puked on your shirt!"
"No," I replied, "Some drunk puked on me and gave me ?10 to clean the shirt."
The wife said, "Then why did I find ?20 in your shirt pocket?"
"He shit in my pants too."