T'was the night before christmas
And all through the house
Everything was quiet
Even the mouse
With Dad at the brothel
And mum with uncle frank
I settled down
For a nice long ****
Outside in the garden
I heard a right clatter
I let go of my cock
To See what was the matter
Out on the lawn
A big rubber dick
I knew right away
It was ol' saint nick
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
The big fat ****er
I think he fell
He left me some vodka
And a barrel of beer
And a big rubber cock
For my brother, the queer
He flew up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The big fat ****
Blew the house apart
He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Saying ill be back next year
Have a **** of a night!
And all through the house
Everything was quiet
Even the mouse
With Dad at the brothel
And mum with uncle frank
I settled down
For a nice long ****
Outside in the garden
I heard a right clatter
I let go of my cock
To See what was the matter
Out on the lawn
A big rubber dick
I knew right away
It was ol' saint nick
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
The big fat ****er
I think he fell
He left me some vodka
And a barrel of beer
And a big rubber cock
For my brother, the queer
He flew up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The big fat ****
Blew the house apart
He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Saying ill be back next year
Have a **** of a night!
