Near death experience
- A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?'
God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?'
(wait for it)
God replied: 'I didn't recognize you.'
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Taxi for hoggy. Get your coat mate and don't let the door hit your arse on the way out 
THE TRUTH
The Hillsborough Independent Panel. 12/09/12
Today's report is black and white.The Liverpool fans were not the cause of the disaster.
The panel has quite simply found 'no evidence' in support of allegations of 'exceptional levels of drunkenness, ticketlessness or violence among Liverpool fans' and 'no evidence that fans had conspired to arrive late at the stadium' and 'no evidence that they stole from the dead and dying'. -
It's a cracker !!
Aaahh ! I love the smell of Eeprom in the morning...
" We'll come in low out of the rising sun, and about a mile out, we'll put on the music . . . "
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