Urine Test
One day in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It
takes ten seconds and only costs five quid; a lot quicker and better than a
doctor and you get Club Card points".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco He
deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks".
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology is,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water,
a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
He hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.
He deposited five pounds, poured in his concoction, and waited for
the results.
The computer printed out the following..........
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better...
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It
takes ten seconds and only costs five quid; a lot quicker and better than a
doctor and you get Club Card points".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco He
deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks".
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology is,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water,
a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
He hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.
He deposited five pounds, poured in his concoction, and waited for
the results.
The computer printed out the following..........
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better...
Thank you for shopping at Tesco