the almighty and scotland

[ray156]

In the beginning when God was creating the world, He was
sitting on a cloud, telling his pal, the Arch Angel Gabriel,
what he planned for Scotland.

"Gabby," says He, "I'm going to give this place high majestic
mountains, purple glens, soaring eagles, streams laden with
salmon, golden fields of barley from which a whisky coloured nectar can be made, green lush, spectacular golf courses, coal in the ground, oil under the sea......."

"Hold up! Hold up!" interjected the bold Gabriel. "Are'nt you
being too generous to these Scots?"

Back came the Almighty's reply, "Not really. Wait until you
see the fcuking neighbours I'm giving them!"

[ray156]

here are some more jokes aimed at us scots.

A Scot and an Englishman are removing wall paper.
What processes are they involved in?

The Englishman is renovating...the Scot is moving.
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Q: What do the Rolling Stones and a Scottsman
have in common?
A: The Rolling Stones say, "Hey you, get off of my cloud."
The Scottsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."
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Q: Why do Scotsmen have thin long dicks?
A: Because they are such tight fisted ****ers.
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Q: Why do scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile off.
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Q: Hear about the two Scottish queers?
A: Ben Doon and Phil McCrevis