one liners
One Liners
Cats have nine lives which makes them ideal for experimentation
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears
My dad is Irish and my mum Iranian which meant we spent most of our family holidays in customs
The dodo died, then dodi died, di died, then dando died. Dido must be shitting herself.
My parents are from Glasgow which means they are incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child?.well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
Is it fair to say that there?d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks ?
My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two cause they wanted me to sound like a twat.
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you because eventually you?ll get tested?.she?ll go?what?s my favourite flower ? and you?ll murmur to yourself?shit I wasn?t listening??I remember now?.?SELF RAISING?
The world is a dangerous place. only yesterday I went into boots and punched someone in the face.
I saw that show, 50 things to do before you die. I would have thought the obvious one was shout for help.
I went out with an Irish Catholic, very frustrating?you can take the girl out of cork
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station, went along and it turned out to be a hoax.
Hey! You want to feel really handsome ?....go shopping at Asda.
It?s easy to distract fat people, it?s a piece of cake.
If you?re being chased by a police dog try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little see saw, then jump through a hoop of fire, they?re trained for that.