The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer
a early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of ?1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points on there body. plus The officer can choose the two points that would be measured from. The first officer who accepted the retirement bonus asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes.He was measured at six feet and walked out with a retirement bonus of ?72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with ?96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer a grizzly old Chief Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured from replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles. It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted on the choice he had made, so they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by the Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em,' which He did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. Dear Lord! he suddenly exclaimed, Where Are your testicles?' The Old Chief calmly replied,In the Falkland Islands sir where they were shot off.
a early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of ?1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points on there body. plus The officer can choose the two points that would be measured from. The first officer who accepted the retirement bonus asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes.He was measured at six feet and walked out with a retirement bonus of ?72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with ?96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer a grizzly old Chief Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured from replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles. It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted on the choice he had made, so they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by the Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em,' which He did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. Dear Lord! he suddenly exclaimed, Where Are your testicles?' The Old Chief calmly replied,In the Falkland Islands sir where they were shot off.