Texan visits Ireland

[mtv1]

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, ?I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I?ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.?
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan?s offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. ?Is your bet still good?? asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, ?If ya don?t mind me askin?, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone??
The Irishman replies, ?Oh? I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.?

[mtv1]

Irish priest in texas

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.. Father O'Malley rose from
his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission
parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his
front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station......

The conversation went like this:

''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''

''And the best of the day te yerself... This is Father O'Malley at St.
Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn."

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a
smirk, ''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people
took care of the last rites!''

There was dead silence on the line for a Long
Moment...........................................

Father O'Malley then replied:
''Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''