a couple o wee quickies
An Australian is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.
The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
The Aussie explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!''
The Aussie smirks, taps his watch, and says, "Bloody thing's running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?
ANDY'S SURGERY
When Andy first noticed that his penis was growing larger
and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks, his penis had grown fifty centimetres.
Andy became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and
even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that,
though rare, Bob's condition (Donkey Doodle,) it could be fixed through corrective surgery.
'How long will Andy be on crutches?' the wife asked anxiously.
'Crutches? Why would he need crutches?' responded the surprised doctor..
'Well,' said the wife coldly, 'you're gunna lengthen his legs, aren't you?
