> >> ----------------------------------------------------------------
> >>
> >> I'm not normally suspicious but the wife told me
> >> yesterday that Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected that special
> >> resin into her crack.....she hasn't even got a car!!
> >>
> >> I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Gran's
> >> dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn't be able
> >> to forgive myself.
> >>
> >> Matt Lucas's ex-partner hanged himself this week. Matt is
> >> said to be distraught but on a lighter note, is now the only gay in the
> >> village.
> >>
> >> A little girl walks into her parents' bedroom.
> >> " Holy ****" she screams "And YOU want ME to see a doctor
> >> about sucking my thumb...!!
> >>
> >> Wee Irish boy crying by the side of the road.
> >> A man asks "What's wrong?"
> >> Boy says "Me Ma is dead"
> >> "Oh bejaysus" the man says "Do you want me to get Father
> >> O'Riley ?"
> >> Wee boy replies"No thanks Mister, sex is the last ting on
> >> me moind roight now."
> >>
> >> *** Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "Will you marry
> >> me?" . The girl said "No" and she lived happily ever after. She went
> >> shopping, drank vodka with friends, always had a clean house, never had
> >> to cook, had a wardrobe full of shoes and bags, stayed skinny and was
> >> never farted upon. The End.
> >>
> >> Just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some
> >> of my clothes to the starving people of the world. Told them to " ****
> >> Off". Anyone who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!!
> >>
> >>
> >> Japanese scientists have now created a digital camera
> >> with such a fast speed that it's now possible to take a photograph of a
> >> woman with her gob shut.
> >>
> >> Turned on my SatNav and it said 'Bear Left' and there was
> >> the zoo. How good is that?
> >>
> >> I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the
> >> days when you could look at an unattended bag on the train or bus and
> >> think " I'm ****ing having that!"
> >>
> >> Man lost in a hot air ballon over Ireland . He looks down
> >> and sees a farmer and shouts to him, "Where am I?"
> >> The Irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't kid
> >> me ya b ' stard, you're in that ~~~~in basket!"
> >>
> >> Paddy is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his
> >> wife. He dials 999.
> >> Paddy says "It's my wife, I've accidentally shot her.
> >> I've killed her"
> >> Operator "Please calm down sir. Can you first make sure
> >> she really is dead?"
> >> CLICK,BANG
> >> Paddy "OK, done that, what next?
> >>
> >> Do not send this on to at least five friends in the next
> >> 10 minutes. You will suffer no unforeseen consequences, you will not find
> >> the solution to world peace nor will you inherit an obscene amount of
> >> cash.
--- Ian ---
> >>
> >> I'm not normally suspicious but the wife told me
> >> yesterday that Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected that special
> >> resin into her crack.....she hasn't even got a car!!
> >>
> >> I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Gran's
> >> dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn't be able
> >> to forgive myself.
> >>
> >> Matt Lucas's ex-partner hanged himself this week. Matt is
> >> said to be distraught but on a lighter note, is now the only gay in the
> >> village.
> >>
> >> A little girl walks into her parents' bedroom.
> >> " Holy ****" she screams "And YOU want ME to see a doctor
> >> about sucking my thumb...!!
> >>
> >> Wee Irish boy crying by the side of the road.
> >> A man asks "What's wrong?"
> >> Boy says "Me Ma is dead"
> >> "Oh bejaysus" the man says "Do you want me to get Father
> >> O'Riley ?"
> >> Wee boy replies"No thanks Mister, sex is the last ting on
> >> me moind roight now."
> >>
> >> *** Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "Will you marry
> >> me?" . The girl said "No" and she lived happily ever after. She went
> >> shopping, drank vodka with friends, always had a clean house, never had
> >> to cook, had a wardrobe full of shoes and bags, stayed skinny and was
> >> never farted upon. The End.
> >>
> >> Just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some
> >> of my clothes to the starving people of the world. Told them to " ****
> >> Off". Anyone who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!!
> >>
> >>
> >> Japanese scientists have now created a digital camera
> >> with such a fast speed that it's now possible to take a photograph of a
> >> woman with her gob shut.
> >>
> >> Turned on my SatNav and it said 'Bear Left' and there was
> >> the zoo. How good is that?
> >>
> >> I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the
> >> days when you could look at an unattended bag on the train or bus and
> >> think " I'm ****ing having that!"
> >>
> >> Man lost in a hot air ballon over Ireland . He looks down
> >> and sees a farmer and shouts to him, "Where am I?"
> >> The Irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't kid
> >> me ya b ' stard, you're in that ~~~~in basket!"
> >>
> >> Paddy is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his
> >> wife. He dials 999.
> >> Paddy says "It's my wife, I've accidentally shot her.
> >> I've killed her"
> >> Operator "Please calm down sir. Can you first make sure
> >> she really is dead?"
> >> CLICK,BANG
> >> Paddy "OK, done that, what next?
> >>
> >> Do not send this on to at least five friends in the next
> >> 10 minutes. You will suffer no unforeseen consequences, you will not find
> >> the solution to world peace nor will you inherit an obscene amount of
> >> cash.
--- Ian ---
screw you nag3 
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