A Greenock man is doon the Celtic social club on a Friday night and buy's a raffle ticket.
Lo and behold! he scoops first prize, and the prize is a camel........
"Wit the hell am I gonnie dae with a camel?" he asked his pal.
"camels are rerr hings mate, they eat aw yir grass and shyte on yir plants, you'll never need to do any gardening again!"
So, the guy finishes his beer and starts to think how he can explain this camel to his wife.
He chucks a rope around the camels neck and walks off to the bus stop to wait on the Braeside Bus.
The bus pulls up and the driver points tae a big sign 'NAE PETS ALLOWED'
Brainwave: "I'll just ride it up the road" he says tae himself.
So while he's heading up the road, he gets to Barrs Cottage and thinks to himself he can get last orders in.
So he jumps aff his camel and ties it to the railings and goes upstairs at Barrs Cottage for a couple of swift haufs.
He comes oot later and the camels away.
Some wee skank fae the Bow Road must hae stole it.
So he phones the Polis and the usual half hour wait they arrive.
"Right pal, geez a description o this camel, wis it a Sahara Desert wan?" asks the big polis.
"nae idea said the guy, am a welder in Kincaids, av no got a clue aboot Camels"
So the Polis asks's, "many humps did it huv on its back then?"
So the wee guy replies, " Telt you big yin, av nae ideas aboot they camel hings, the only thing I know is that the camel wis female."
The Polis then ask him to explain how he knew it wis a female.
"Well when i wis riding it up the road I passed a bus stop and I heard a bloke saying to his mate, check oot the fanny on that Camel"
Lo and behold! he scoops first prize, and the prize is a camel........
"Wit the hell am I gonnie dae with a camel?" he asked his pal.
"camels are rerr hings mate, they eat aw yir grass and shyte on yir plants, you'll never need to do any gardening again!"
So, the guy finishes his beer and starts to think how he can explain this camel to his wife.
He chucks a rope around the camels neck and walks off to the bus stop to wait on the Braeside Bus.
The bus pulls up and the driver points tae a big sign 'NAE PETS ALLOWED'
Brainwave: "I'll just ride it up the road" he says tae himself.
So while he's heading up the road, he gets to Barrs Cottage and thinks to himself he can get last orders in.
So he jumps aff his camel and ties it to the railings and goes upstairs at Barrs Cottage for a couple of swift haufs.
He comes oot later and the camels away.
Some wee skank fae the Bow Road must hae stole it.
So he phones the Polis and the usual half hour wait they arrive.
"Right pal, geez a description o this camel, wis it a Sahara Desert wan?" asks the big polis.
"nae idea said the guy, am a welder in Kincaids, av no got a clue aboot Camels"
So the Polis asks's, "many humps did it huv on its back then?"
So the wee guy replies, " Telt you big yin, av nae ideas aboot they camel hings, the only thing I know is that the camel wis female."
The Polis then ask him to explain how he knew it wis a female.
"Well when i wis riding it up the road I passed a bus stop and I heard a bloke saying to his mate, check oot the fanny on that Camel"