chuck norris jokes

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  • pantomime horse
    DK Veteran
    • May 2010
    • 478

    #1

    chuck norris jokes

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

    Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

    Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

    When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

    When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.

    Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry. The man ate an Indian.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

    Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

    If you want a list of Chuck Norris? enemies, just check the extinct species list.

    Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  • steppenwolf
    V.I.P. Member
    • Mar 2009
    • 1236

    #2
    Chuck Norris won against the wall in ping-pong game.

    Chuck Norris can unscramble scrambled eggs.

    Chuck Norris knows the name of the unknown hero.


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    Nemanja Vidic

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    • tshirtman
      V.I.P. Member
      • Dec 2008
      • 1345

      #3
      Chuck Norris went round to his daughters boyfriends house and got her virginity back
      !retupmoc eht ni deppart m'I !pleH

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      • steppenwolf
        V.I.P. Member
        • Mar 2009
        • 1236

        #4
        Originally posted by tshirtman
        Chuck Norris went round to his daughters boyfriends house and got her virginity back
        That is awsume m8


        Please join
        Manchester United Fan Club on Digital Kaos!

        The Best Serbian Movie Scene Ever!

        Nemanja Vidic

        The sportsman of the year 2011! Enjoy and Think Different!

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        • bald rick
          DK Veteran
          • Feb 2010
          • 514

          #5
          Chuck Norris is immortal when Chuck Norris has a "ank he beats himself

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          • andymc1s
            DK Veteran
            • Sep 2008
            • 694

            #6
            Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

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            • DogdySnigwirter
              Top Poster +
              • Oct 2009
              • 216

              #7
              Search for Chuck Norris

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              • DogdySnigwirter
                Top Poster +
                • Oct 2009
                • 216

                #8
                Chuck Norris can win Connect 4 in 3 moves ...

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                • racin-snake
                  V.I.P. Member
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 2285

                  #9
                  heres one i found
                  Attached Files
                  Today is the Tomorrow you worried about yesterday ......Was it worth it ?

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                  • sob1467
                    DK Veteran
                    • Feb 2010
                    • 604

                    #10
                    01
                    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
                    02
                    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
                    03
                    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

                    04
                    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
                    05
                    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
                    06
                    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

                    07
                    They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
                    08
                    A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

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                    • racin-snake
                      V.I.P. Member
                      • Jun 2009
                      • 2285

                      #11
                      chuck Norris got a Indian takeaway delivered and the delivery guy got the ring sting and he took it as a tip
                      Last edited by racin-snake; 7 December, 2010, 03:24.
                      Today is the Tomorrow you worried about yesterday ......Was it worth it ?

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                      • DogdySnigwirter
                        Top Poster +
                        • Oct 2009
                        • 216

                        #12
                        Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink ...

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                        • rondiamond
                          Newbie
                          • Sep 2010
                          • 4

                          #13
                          Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

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                          • crx1616
                            Top Poster
                            • Mar 2010
                            • 161

                            #14
                            chuck

                            chuck norris can kill two stone s with one bird !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                            in potato head(wayne rooney) we trust !

                            Comment

                            • jctech
                              DK Veteran
                              • Dec 2009
                              • 664

                              #15
                              Chuck Norris used to be a lumberjack......in the Sahara Forest

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