Best Complaint Letter Ever

[RedSpider]

This is a letter of complaint that was sent to Richard Branson.
I pissed myself reading it.
I'm not sure whether the bloke who wrote it was taking the piss or whether he actually thinks like that.

Editor's Corner - Yahoo! News UK

[cantona7]

he got offered a ?50000 job of branson as a food tester type person on the back of this letter i believe

[RedSpider]

well if that's the case, i'm gonna complain about his tv service and see if i can wangle myself some free telly....no hang on....

[melloned]

No such cuisine problems with Monarch Airlines , a mate and his wife flew back from the US with them a few years back , on a budget flight .
Thier in-flight meal was a ham butty and a kit kat ! , at least you knew what you were eating ??

[suxxer]

Any cuisine probs @ microsfot ?

[flutered]

i flew to n.y. city for christmas, with aer lingus, i was plesantly suprised with the food, but they forgot to provide a wheelchair at kennedy on the return leg.

[.: JaCkPoT :.]

Really tasty pics

[Celtictiger]

While I admit that is a excellent complaint letter...I came across this one a few years back and believes it tops the Virgin Airline one....



A very Good Complaint letter
TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER
BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE

Dear Mr. Thatcher

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard
Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horse riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying and out-of-control behavior. You surely realise it's
a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that the UK is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi
pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you *+*#*ing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least
bit pleasurable?

Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Nurofen and Kahl?a and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Tesco's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"?

- Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an ?8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons