Fathers who dont take responsibility.

[garry1312]

Was watching something on the TV last night and it was all about getting in touch with a parent you have not met or walked out for whatever reason at some point and it was 2-3 stories and all father related.

I can understand if the guy never knew the child existed that is understandable, but all this crap ooh I had this going on at the time, I was not ready/ am not ready crap in my eyes is shocking and totally unacceptable.

Even the I was not allowed to see you. If that was me I would be ~~~~ it I will see my child and anyone could try and stop me be it the mother, a lawyer, a court whatever i'd say to ~~~~ with the lot of use and even if it meant going to jail i would come back out try again, if I went back so be it and would continue to do the same. Least then I could say I made every effort and done my best to not let anything get in my way.

As a single father myself who has my son 3 and a half days a week and his mum has him the other 3 and a half, I have been questioned by guys ooh how can you do that? you must have some sort of help etc I couldnt do it myself, I dont I am miles away from my family and my answer is 'how the hell could I not?' my boy is my boy, my flesh and blood, might only be 17 months but hes also my best friend and I would do anything for him.

Also have woman saying you seem like a fantastic dad not many guys would do that I am proud of you.... I do not want people to be proud of me for it because he is my boy, the reward comes from being a great father not by being told you are doing the right thing. I dont do the right thing to please others I do the right thing because I love my son with everything I have.

At the same time mothers that stop the father from being apart of there childs life are no better, I am very lucky my sons mother is a fantastic mum and knows that he needs both parents just as much and decisions should be joint decisions when it comes to our son.

When me and his mum split up I was thrown in at the deep end as I would have been out working and just in at the evenings so when I had him at first for a good bit I would make a makeshift bed out of quilts outside his bedroom door to sleep on . Was so paranoid .

I know guys that have children and dont bother there ass. Me and CB are talking about one week she has him mon-fri and the following week I will have him mon-fri and the grandparents will take there turns at the weekends . But no doubt I will be asked how can you do it etc and my answer is I love my boy. Being a single parent is not always easy but being a parent is and should be the most rewarding thing that life can ever provide you with.

Just sick of excuses of those that do not bother I have a lot going on not just with what I have posted on here but I am damn sure nothing will come between me and my son.

My boy is lucky to have two parents that love him very much and are doing what is best for him.

Be it the Mother or the Father both have a responsibility to raise there child/ children and all this crap my dad walked out on me when I was a baby but now after 20-30 years wants to be apart of my life i would tell him to get to ~~~~ and if I done that to my son I would expect him to do the exact same.

Being a parent is the best gift life can give you, yes at times its stressful, hard, not easy whatever but it is all worth it I would not trade in being a father for anything in this world.

[pauleemor]

Was watching something on the TV last night and it was all about getting in touch with a parent you have not met or walked out for whatever reason at some point and it was 2-3 stories and all father related.

I can understand if the guy never knew the child existed that is understandable, but all this crap ooh I had this going on at the time, I was not ready/ am not ready crap in my eyes is shocking and totally unacceptable.

Even the I was not allowed to see you. If that was me I would be ~~~~ it I will see my child and anyone could try and stop me be it the mother, a lawyer, a court whatever i'd say to ~~~~ with the lot of use and even if it meant going to jail i would come back out try again, if I went back so be it and would continue to do the same. Least then I could say I made every effort and done my best to not let anything get in my way.

As a single father myself who has my son 3 and a half days a week and his mum has him the other 3 and a half, I have been questioned by guys ooh how can you do that? you must have some sort of help etc I couldnt do it myself, I dont I am miles away from my family and my answer is 'how the hell could I not?' my boy is my boy, my flesh and blood, might only be 17 months but hes also my best friend and I would do anything for him.

Also have woman saying you seem like a fantastic dad not many guys would do that I am proud of you.... I do not want people to be proud of me for it because he is my boy, the reward comes from being a great father not by being told you are doing the right thing. I dont do the right thing to please others I do the right thing because I love my son with everything I have.

At the same time mothers that stop the father from being apart of there childs life are no better, I am very lucky my sons mother is a fantastic mum and knows that he needs both parents just as much and decisions should be joint decisions when it comes to our son.

When me and his mum split up I was thrown in at the deep end as I would have been out working and just in at the evenings so when I had him at first for a good bit I would make a makeshift bed out of quilts outside his bedroom door to sleep on . Was so paranoid .

I know guys that have children and dont bother there ass. Me and CB are talking about one week she has him mon-fri and the following week I will have him mon-fri and the grandparents will take there turns at the weekends . But no doubt I will be asked how can you do it etc and my answer is I love my boy. Being a single parent is not always easy but being a parent is and should be the most rewarding thing that life can ever provide you with.

Just sick of excuses of those that do not bother I have a lot going on not just with what I have posted on here but I am damn sure nothing will come between me and my son.

My boy is lucky to have two parents that love him very much and are doing what is best for him.

Be it the Mother or the Father both have a responsibility to raise there child/ children and all this crap my dad walked out on me when I was a baby but now after 20-30 years wants to be apart of my life i would tell him to get to ~~~~ and if I done that to my son I would expect him to do the exact same.

Being a parent is the best gift life can give you, yes at times its stressful, hard, not easy whatever but it is all worth it I would not trade in being a father for anything in this world.

agree 100% well done to both of you for being good parents its a god send being a parent and the children should not miss out on anything because a mum and dad could not see eye to eye well done to you and cb take care all the best

[Shady]

any fud can be a father. Takes someone special to be a 'dad'

[maca]

Oh bless you nearly had me in tears here............VERY TRUE THOUGH

[ray156]

although i agree with garry,there is a but,some of these cases happened 30 even 40 yrs ago,the law was diff. then.the mother was sole carer of a child in the eyes of the law,if a family split up,the father was a cast of,mothers could actualy demand that the father had no contact,and would get it,ok you say would go to jail just to prove how much you cared,fair enough,good point,but what if you had another family and kids in that time,would it be fair on your other kids that they have lost a father,say to another child they may never have seen,the law is more on the fathers side now,no court will stop a father having contact with a child,unless it was not in the childs best interest to do so.i am lucky as well,i have 2 ex,but lucky they both only stay round corner from me.my kids pop in all the time,on way home from school,when out playing etc.school holidays they stay a week or 2 weeks depends on school holiday.but back to your point,yes some dads split up and say to hell with it,but mums have done that as well.and on the show on tv,some of the mums actualy gave kids away,thats another reason,some of these adults(now)have never seen there dads.

[garry1312]

agree 100% well done to both of you for being good parents its a god send being a parent and the children should not miss out on anything because a mum and dad could not see eye to eye well done to you and cb take care all the best

Thats exactly it mate and although me and CB are no longer together I am still very greatful that my son has a fantastic mother that makes the right choices.

any fud can be a father. Takes someone special to be a 'dad'

Very true Shady so many 'Father's' out here but creating a child is just the first step once you have that child or children they should without even having to think about it be your life.

~~~~ by the way mate when did you get a t-shirt what happened to the pink shirt .

your mail never came yesterday but hoping it comes to day as the parents are up and I can get a lift to the post office from them

Oh bless you nearly had me in tears here............VERY TRUE THOUGH

It pisses me off when someone says the father does not take an interest. Here at the same time I went to college years back and it was a woman that never took as much of an interest as she should and it was the father that that was the sole carer.

although i agree with garry,there is a but,some of these cases happened 30 even 40 yrs ago,the law was diff. then.the mother was sole carer of a child in the eyes of the law,if a family split up,the father was a cast of,mothers could actualy demand that the father had no contact,and would get it,ok you say would go to jail just to prove how much you cared,fair enough,good point,but what if you had another family and kids in that time,would it be fair on your other kids that they have lost a father,say to another child they may never have seen,the law is more on the fathers side now,no court will stop a father having contact with a child,unless it was not in the childs best interest to do so.i am lucky as well,i have 2 ex,but lucky they both only stay round corner from me.my kids pop in all the time,on way home from school,when out playing etc.school holidays they stay a week or 2 weeks depends on school holiday.but back to your point,yes some dads split up and say to hell with it,but mums have done that as well.and on the show on tv,some of the mums actualy gave kids away,thats another reason,some of these adults(now)have never seen there dads.

I wouldnt have another family and kids mate I would focus on the child I had I would not drop the fight law or not. Yes laws have changed but the mother still has more rights. Personally I would go to war if I was told I could see my son once a fortnight for instance.

I believe a child needs both parents even if the parents are not together. A child learns from there parents and will pick up certain morals from both mother and father. A girl needs a mother figure for reasons and a son needs a dad and vise versa.

As said I am a very lucky man compared to a lot of single fathers where the mother will turn round and say 'no you will see your child/ children when I say so and if you really want to argue it we'll take it to court and ill come better off'. My son has a fantastic mum that knows what is best for our son and that is to have both parents in his life equally. Even thats a hard situation when he is with CB i miss him like mad and when he is with me CB misses him like mad, but although we are not together we are still working together as parents to do what is right for our son and thats the way it should be.

As said I have had fathers ask me in shock 'are you serious you have your son that length of time by yourself how do you cope, I certainly couldnt do it'. But remarks like that shock me because the way I see it why would be it a dad or a mum not want to spend as much time as they can with there child? Yes it can be hard work but it is very rewarding I love getting up in the morning and going through to my sons room his arms up in the air for me to pick him up, or taking him to the park, I take him out for lunch, soft play, getting him ready for bed, reading him a bed time story (when me and CB broke up I had no idea were his books was thought they was gone so I made him up stories and still do from time to time). Every moment with my son is priceless and being apart of his life and watching him grow and learn new things cannot be beaten.

30-40 years ago if that was the case then i can see how its understandable but I still stand by my words were I would say ~~~~ a bit pf paper saying I cant, ~~~~ a court and ~~~~ a judge.

In this day and age you see far to many single mothers that are left to it on there own, the father is not interested, you also get plenty that have a child here and there and are just simply not interested.

I will always support my son and I will also always be there for Chelsea as she is the mother of my son and no one on this earth will ever be able to give me what she has given me.

[johnboy1974]

gary I love your ideals on parenting that wee lad is lucky to have a father like you.

[garry1312]

gary I love your ideals on parenting that wee lad is lucky to have a father like you.

Thank you mate. He is lucky to have both parents though because some mothers out there would not allow the father to have an equal say after a split

[Shady]

my sister split with her hubby, she uses her kids as weapons.. tw@ she is

[Shady]

~~~~ by the way mate when did you get a t-shirt what happened to the pink shirt .

in honour of the euros that we're going to win

your mail never came yesterday but hoping it comes to day as the parents are up and I can get a lift to the post office from them

should be there today i reckon

[ray156]

my sister split with her hubby, she uses her kids as weapons.. tw@ she is

a lot of mothers do,but still kick up a stink,to make it like its the dad at fault,a woman scorned is the words,the mother can be ok one week get on great,next week cause in a bad mood or woman problems,out comes the gun and the kid is the bullit,

[garry1312]

It's certainly not fair to use a child or children as weapons as mentioned a child deserves both parents.

[chalky 4]

It is obvious you have not had the pleasure of the family courts Yet. Over 90% of fathers are then limited to access of a weekend every fortnight. When her new partner moves in situations can rapidly deteriorate.

[ray156]

It is obvious you have not had the pleasure of the family courts Yet. Over 90% of fathers are then limited to access of a weekend every fortnight. When her new partner moves in situations can rapidly deteriorate.

spot on..even more so if if the mother marries new partner,and he becomes the stepdad,who will then have more power on the way child is brought up than the real dad..fact.

[ChelseaBun]

It is obvious you have not had the pleasure of the family courts Yet. Over 90% of fathers are then limited to access of a weekend every fortnight. When her new partner moves in situations can rapidly deteriorate.

i will do my hardest to not take my kid through a court. and if any man i was to meet in the very distant future tried to dictate my sons life or compromise my son and his dads relationship hed get told where to go.

Just because im a single mother, does not mean i dont have morals, or know how to be an adult.

a child has two parents, and those two parents have different but very equal roles to play in their up bringing. whether they are together or not.