if you were god

[hoggy952]

I'm not going to jump in after 18+ pages of the evolution thread so I'll start another one. There have been a couple of other threads in the same vein recently and all seem to go round in circles as to wether there is or isn't a god.
So , just for a moment imagine that you are God , proper creator of everything and you could see your people having these endless arguments on forums not to mention wars and conflict.
How or what would you do to leave all the people in no doubt that you actually exsist?
I'd dispense with all the subtly and vague hints like my son's face in a watermelon or appearing in dreams and do something that cannot be explained.
For example how about (and being God I could do this) 3 foot diameter solid steel balls with "property of God" on them that just hover above the ground permantly or maybe I'd just turn all the guns in the world into chocolate
Any other ideas from any would be deity?

[Shady]

if i was god, id probably do one of them big booming charlton heston type ""stop playing silly beggarss"" shouts.. then id come to earth as a giant and go all godzilla and crap,

[hoggy952]

if i was god, id probably do one of them big booming charlton heston type ""stop playing silly beggarss"" shouts.. then id come to earth as a giant and go all godzilla and crap,

I'll set jack on to you,

[Wolfpack]

If i was God? Hmm what would i do first? I would make anyone suffer a agonizing death if they used their religion as a tool of hate. I also make it rain in a non believers car. Oh wait i already did that.

[gc1966]

I would start a global Sodom and Gomorrah television show where the public came on and confessed to the world their wrongdoing and as executive producer install all the worlds religious leaders as the hosts. but instead of punishing the contestants for their sins I would torture the hosts live on tv each week for not spreading my word good enough.

[manxspud]

I would do the whole 'The Day The Earth Stood Still' remake thing and release a swarm of all consuming nanobot locusts. However this time around when those giant aliens pop over and get life on the planet started (cause i'm god i'll make them forget they have already done so) I'll stay on my mountain and use all the tips i have picked up from the home channel to make a kick arse place to live. There will only be one religion cause i'll still be around.

Still have a few things to work on ... but i can fill in the other details later

Just realised cause i'm a ugly tw*t and not vain enough to worry about it ... i will probs do like the wizard of oz did and hide behind a shower curtain whilst throwing my voice to come from the burning bush ( will change the bush for something else later on just in case i infringe another's copy right)

[Meat-Head]

Well except dk members of course. Blast off the face of earth a few million people

all third eorld vountrys stick in a. Lack hole in space solves that problem


oh as it is not fully used trim sustrailla foen a big too big


then pun h steve mobs hard on the face cor inventing ipnone crsp

[Canker_Canison]

First off I would announce my presence by blackening the whole sky around the world. Then appear in a shaft of light in Jerusalem, the shaft of light would follow my every move.

All religion that claims to be acting on my words & teachings would be banned. Those that refuse to accept my word will be wiped out in a 'purple nad plague*'. Just because I built everything doesn't give me the right to tell every living creature how to behave in my garden...If I can't do it, neither can the crazy fake religion nut jobs.

Then I'd have to travel the world, bringing sunshine where ever I go. I'd also be on the biggest shag fest the world has ever seen

*Purple nad plague - The genitals of all devout religious cretins would turn purple & swell to 6 times their normal size. It's extremely painful, especially when they explode..searing the flash from the bones of the lower pelvic area. Death is certain & there is no cure.

[BigfatPaulie]

If I were god, I'd eliminate all religion...

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[ajax2061]

what you mean if.....

[gopher7]

First of all, I'd get rid of all the nutters that think they're God.

[johnboy1974]

I would work in mysterious ways.


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[manxspud]

First of all, I'd get rid of all the nutters that think they're God.

What about people like me that know i'm God (See sig pic ... small print )

[Cod3waX]

i'd make u all fight to the death until there was only 1 man and women left

[maca]

I'd give me self a full head of hair