Marriage?

[hoggy952]

Although I believe in marriage I am not on a crusade but was interested in why people don't get married when they have children. I'm not talking about waiting for the divorce to come through or whatever but people who just live together for many years.

Of course I don't know the marital status of the members on this forum and I wouldn't want to upset anyone for the world but how would you feel if you are unmarried and living with someone and you are out with your children and some kindly old lady came up and enquired "How is the little b*****d today?"

Would it just be an uncomfortable truth or does it just not matter?

[barrowmanandrew]

doesnt bother me, have lived with my partner for 6years now, and are expecting our 2nd b*****d on oct 8th. not got married because not religious

[tomhick024]

Girl at work said to me a few years back 'that I was very young to be getting married'
I joking, replied 'It's cheaper to marry her than to pay the maintenance'.
Fcuking hell, she nearly went through me!
Didn't find out for a good while after that she had a kid and her fellow had done a runner!!

Back to the marriage thing - our personal choice was to get married(mainly to keep the mother-in-law happy -joking) but I don't have a problem with people having kids outside of marriage, its everyone own choice, but for anyone to call a child a 'bastard' deserves to have their nose broken anyway!!
Just my thoughts!

[maca]

wish i was getting wed tomorrow i wouldnt ~~~~in turn up

[HoTTDubbER]

i been living with my miss's nearly 10 years we have 2 kids

i dont mind the idea of being married i just hate weddings with a passion

if i was to do it id be down the registry office quick in and out with a mc donnalds drive through on the way home to celebrate ,(maybe burger king as it would be a special day )
i hate all this family centre of attention ,speech's stuff)

i also have a website to run so all that honeymoon craps out the window also

harsh truths but that's my reality

[andystar351]

Spot on there mate, me and my partner have clocked up our first 21 years next January. We have an 11yr old son and life couldnt be better. We dont need marriage to be happy or stay together, it has been mentioned quite a few times but mainly by the older gens of the family who dont seem to understand our view point. My younger brother has hooked up with a lady and has gone into massive debt on an all out princess fairytale wedding for her...........now what you think is gonna happen there then?

[Lainie]

i was brought up to believe mummy and daddy should have the same name. old fashioned i know but i still kinda agree with it. esp with my job! it kills me when people say they dont want marriage as they dont want a commitment but they then have kids together - is that not a bigger commitment??

however now being separated i now see there is no financial incentive to get married and maybe if there was there would be more marriages than kids born out of wedlock. i do believe a lot of it is down to financial matters which i can see both sides of.

i did get married - would i do it again? mmm not sure.

[cgscott]

I now married. Have one to an ex who i pay all i can for.

Now my wife is pregnant and i can do what i wanted to do the first time and that is be full time father to my son/daughter.

Girls nowadays get pregnant for simple reasons its to get a house over the head and get goverment funding. Most of this only happens in poor citys where poverty reeks.

Dundee is the capital of teenage pregnancys.

I wish i married the mother of my first but she only wanted one thing and to this day still leeches whatever she can.

Hence the reason for non marriages nowadays.

If i could have a child tommorow myself and get a house and 150 quid a week then i would.

Unfortunately I am male and cannot so i chose to have a proper relationship.

[Lainie]

prob more than ?150 quid a week cg. child tax credit can be over ?50 for 1 child, child benefit on top of that, then income support, housing benefit and council tax benefit. oh and dont forget the sure start maternity grant and health in pregnancy grant - its endless.

one of the worst things labour did was take away the married persons tax allowance.

i take into consideration the religion thing but surely if you are catholic (and believe in your religion) shouldn't you be married to have your kid baptised etc. most people seem to associate religion with marriage yet when they die all of a sudden they become religious and have hymns etc. its a bit hypocritical.

maybe they should have humanist marriage ceremonies they way they have humanist funerals which mine will be. i got married in a church (mainly to please my mum) but now would not have any religious wedding, christening or funeral.

however i dont want to turn this into a religious debate as that wasnt the original posters intention

[PremierD]

The trick is to pick the right partner the first time around ...old fashioned values but non the less true ,
Youngsters nowadays dont really give a fcuk about it .. not working , then they are out of there , wains are just part and parcel of it , someone to see at the weekend .
Having more than a few grandwains to bring up I do know... would i change it ...? not for the world ... Married / Unmarried .. dont really matter .. Would i get married again ...? yup.. ( if I was a whole lot younger .. and not already married )

Edit .. The finacial aspect should not , but so often does enter the equation ....

[dctyper]

1st things 1st, when you get married oyu loose your opinion. fact!

only joking ive been married 2 years now, its great having someone to rely on and know they think of you

dc

[berley]

Edit .. The finacial aspect should not , but so often does enter the equation ....

I couldn't agree more, I must have old fashioned values when it comes to marriage, I married for love - simple as. I was proud to change my name and take his and even prouder to pass it onto the children when we had them.

I'd never knock anyone tho' for living together, I think (and don't behead me for this comment) that you tend to grow up with the same values as your parents.

[thered]

Although I believe in marriage I am not on a crusade but was interested in why people don't get married when they have children. I'm not talking about waiting for the divorce to come through or whatever but people who just live together for many years.

Of course I don't know the marital status of the members on this forum and I wouldn't want to upset anyone for the world but how would you feel if you are unmarried and living with someone and you are out with your children and some kindly old lady came up and enquired "How is the little b*****d today?"

Would it just be an uncomfortable truth or does it just not matter?

i wouldnt of got married ever in a million years i seen marriage as a joke and a sign of being under the thumb i was with an ex for 6 years and had two kids i had a permenent engagement( no do just a ring) to shut the ~~~~er up for a bit

marriage to me was like garlic to dracula but now im a married man with no kids to my wife

i done it just for the wife really as i actually like her as oppose to the ex so i done it cos she wanted too

so i am under the thumb now and a joke but marriage to me is only a girl thing i got tortured twice to marry and give in once my only regret is not having kids to my current wife insted of the ex

[maca]

well it took me 19 years to to get married got 2 sons both are working (not that that has anything to do with it) been married for 6 years this year and nothing's changed i think the word marriage is a bit scary to some people as it was me but each to there own as the saying goes.
would i get married again deffo as long as it was to the woman im with now sounds soppy but she's stood by me through some really bad times.

[thered]

well it took me 19 years to to get married got 2 sons both are working (not that that has anything to do with it) been married for 6 years this year and nothing's changed i think the word marriage is a bit scary to some people as it was me but each to there own as the saying goes.
would i get married again deffo as long as it was to the woman im with now sounds soppy but she's stood by me through some really bad times.

awwwwwwww bless im filling up here

your right m8 tho it is scary for blokes i always seen it as a bit poncey its a woman thing marriage churches,dresses and all that polava but if you meet the right one and it makes em happy why not marry them