What would you do?

[Meat-Head]

What would you do in a situation like these:

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1) Customer phones to say he is dropping his Ferrari off this afternoon
for you to look at the next morning.

When the customer arrives he mentions the car spluttered a bit
3 miles ago.

You come to bring the car in, every body has buggered off, no body
is around anywhere, jump in it, (flat battery - it's ~~~~ed, that's what it's in for ) connect jump pack, crank crank, cranck long time, nil poi, no fuel in it AT ALL, you try to wind it in the workshop on the starter, but one of the rear brakes has stuck on, so you put the boost charger on it,
even set to 24 volt 'SUPER FAST CRANK FOR LORRYS ONLY', the starter
just hasn't got the power to move the thing, the passenger window is
STUCK down (customer drove with it down), time now is 35 mins after you closed, you HAVE to log on to DK SOON, what do you do?

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2) Customer brings in car for you to fit their supplied window regulator
the boss fits it in 'record time'.

3 days later car comes back, "since you mate the door open light is
saying door open" You strip it and find the boss has BOLTED the
window mech on the light in the door INSIDE the door, what do
you say to the customer?
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3) Customer brings his car in, 1/2 hour late, (no speedo), he guy smells
like the curry factory and is hovering VERY close. You suss out
in approx 2 mins the fault.

do you:

a) Rip the clocks out first thing

OR

b) Spin the job out for TWO hours because the bloke has pissed you off

YOU TRY, but fail to fix the speedo, what do you charge the customer?

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3) Car comes in - non starter - for no reason the - unlocked, good battery etc the factory back up alarm siren startes wailing and you can't
stop it, what do you do?
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4) A car comes in the customer has had the car since new, it's been to the dealer something like 8 times in 2 years, VERY LARGE BILLS, 'Checked this, that and the other', the DEALER actually says to the customer Quote "We don't know, what is wrong with your car, take it to Meat-Head-Motors" The customer brings NO paper work from the dealer, so you have 'no idea' what to do, but suspect either ABS module or CIM module, the customer WANTS the car back asap, as they are going to France in it on Sunday day is Thursday! What do you do/charge the customer?

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5) Friday afternoon(2:30pm), bird turns up (worth a damm good dicking), the man with her (found out later, her step dad - lucky git), says "cuts out, wont start" you say "20 notes + vat to plug computer in"

plugs in, show customer ONE listed fault "Lumpy stick sensor - permanent" - you ring the dealer, price it, dealer has part, 45 notes + vat retail, cost 19 notes + vat.

you lie and say "can't get the part till Monday", as you are VERY busy looking at DK, the customer books in and want's to take the car away, but it now won't start - (the thing cuts out remember), the customer WANTS to take the car, yeah, no problem, take a seat, the customer decides to 'pop to town for something" - yeah pop back when you have been to town.

10 mins later, it starts do you

a) call the customer
b) park it out side

15 mins AFTER closing time, you see it is still outside, what do you do?

a) leave it out
b) lock it up
c) call the customer?


Monday comes, phone rings like 9:15 "IS MY CAR READY YET?"

So, you remember to order the part, fit it ready to go about 10:15

Start it up, starts MUCH better, after 2 mins engine light comes on, plug
it in, comes up "Sideward facing foo-foo valve - intermittant"
so it's either seized over the weekend or it WAS seized when it came in, twacked it with a LARGE hammer, no good. You price on up
140+vat no stock, pig to fit.

do you

a) Call the customer or b) let them ring you?

11am phone rings (The phone we use we fished out of a skip for reference) "Hello <CRACKLE> Hi there it's <POP> att from Meat-City-Ford <HISS>, who, some tw&at from Ford, <HISS> no it's
MATT from Ford, oh <BASH PHONE ON DESK> that car you did it's
my daughters, we were going to fix it"

AT no point did we know who the customers parents were!

"ARGUE ARGUE MOAN MOAN, about the bill" reckons didn't know anything about plugging in charge, (Genuine LOW sensable price"

What do you do?

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6)
Customer rings up, "car won't start", boss goes out spends ONE hour on it, can't get it to run, says to the customer "What happened"
customer says "Came out, cranck cranck no start", not touched it.

Anyway boss has no signal on his mobile (think they cut it off again)
so uses the customers mobile to call the workshop for phone number of towing company, boss punches in the number, gets the info, , pressses 'End Call' notices on the screen (customer has out number stored) it says "M-H-M The Fools" he says nothing.

Next day car comes on tow truck, i walk out side INSTANTLY 1/2 suss the fault, ecu not powering up, sees a fuse on the chassis leg, uses a 'data' programme, see the relays, links out, click clunck, no start, thinks "WEird", gets collered by 2 seperate, irrtants, ~~~~ed them off sees fuses missing, looks on 'data' programme, engine man fuses missing, so is fuel, ram, stuff, cracnk crack, WROMM, yep it starts, and the rev limiter works-bonus. EXCATLY 15 mins to sort (yes i'm good)

What do you say and charge the customer?

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7) Local car sales pitch 'Goes bust' most of Meat-City somehow screwed
over by them, next day, same phone number, new name, same asshole sales man, owe M-H-M 75+vat.

They tow a car down, shitty rover 75 V6, EARLY one (Dare't run it longer than 3 seconds in case inlet valve drops off), non starter, been stood
mouldy seat belts etc, smells of pig piss.

EXCATLY 15 mins, FIXED it, maxi fuses under bonnet blown.

Ordered new one, put two nuts/bolts on it wafted black areosol can over it to make the fuse look old, fitted it, told them it was the BCM loocked up and something else. that's 175+vat

What would you have done?

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8) Your out road testing a NEW car that hasn't been PDI'd yet, you get forced off the road by some Gypo in a transit van and just SKIM this
NEW CAR with like 6 miles on the clock, down the side of a van belonging to a 'popular communications company', you take a swing round the block, and go past the van again, you notice, the van is half on the footpath, with a 'clean bit', nobody is around, so nobody saw anything - you get back to the workshop, park it in the yard, and see a 'scuff' on the rear wheel arch.

Do you say anything to the dealer?

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9) You have a car living with you for a week, lots of work, basically, you have had a temporary wire jambed in the fusebox for 48 hours (on and off, more on than off) - you forget to remove one night, next morning, funny smell, burnt bit of wire, burnt carpet - something went deadshort in the night- what do you do?
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10) the end of your lead light drops off with out you noticing, and BURNS A HOLE in the carpet, what do you do?

Turns out RARE expensive carpet, can't get another one, fortune if you can.

What do you do?

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