So, back pedal, to a few weeks before Xmas.
Bloke rings up, need my alarm looking at, yeah and so what pal.
In short the O/E remote has packed up, local garage has tried to reprogramme new remote, nil poi.
They have charged him #175, sent him on his way.
He insists we fix it - that particular car we can't do - there is no
dealer for the Pping-Pong Fusso anymore - too old.
So thinking 'easy money' get's the bloke in, sits him in the office with his smelly yappy stupid dawg.
Lies to the bloke - "won't talk to our computer - lie, lie, bullshit, bullshit etc etc". We can send unit away to have them "Byte swap the fofung unit"
The blokes "Yeah mate, i understand perfectly, i know how these things work" - yeah whatever.
So we upload it to this FANTASTIC company - sorry - unable to advertise
or plug due to wanting to plug them at a later date.
The unit gets stuck in post, anyway his new remote is duff, they sort it, no problem.
Plugs unit back in car, nil poi - rings them company who sorted it up, "yeah nothing to do with us, it's properbly the receiver unit behind the flapper valve under the hood" - fantastic that's just saved two hours looking for it.
Get's unit out, faulty - rings 'Robber & Robber' - local parts dept - no out of stock, ~~~~ off.
Tells the punter, give us #275 (pounds) and ~~~~ off - he paid and he went home and located a receiver.
His smelly mate brings it in a few days later "yeah i used to make electronic things, my tv man shop fixed stuff i coulndt get working, yeah
resisters are measured in
MULTI-FARRADS" Anyway, smelly cnut goes, car comes in, works, sorted.
Customer rings up 1 hour later - is it possable to have a second remote
![Rulez](images/smilies/rulez.gif)
![Eviltongue](http://www.digital-kaos.co.uk/forums/images/smilies/eviltongue.gif)
![Beheaded](images/smilies/smiley776.gif)
nil poi what do you say to customer
1) Unit has to go back they have 'altered' the unit
2) Yeah, but its going to be dear?
3) Other?
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IF ANYBODY IS OFFENDED, PRESS THE REPORT BUTTON
So, Christmas Eve, bloke comes in, we say, look coont we are shutting at 12pm today on the dot. Made sure he knew.
He hands me a leafleat and says "This leaflet is about the true meaning of Christmas" - thanks, just as putting it down noticed it says
"Watch Tower" on the back - that's the name of a local security company here in Meat-City
![Laughing1](images/smilies/roflmao.gif)
. Anyway, 11:40 rings the coont up, yours cars ready, so are we. He replies "I'm 15 miles away"
Coont turns up, takes his money, do you say:-
1) We have your money, now ~~~~ off?
2) Happy Christmas
![Laughing1](images/smilies/roflmao.gif)
?
3) Good bye sir?
I choose number 2 - as far as i'm concerned what's the problem - was never programmed with stuff like that at skool!
__________________________________________________ _____________
So this vechile comes in - non start- had 'everything' fitted - still no start
but this thing SMELLS worse than Litaces 'Dawg & Redbull' airfreshners
it stinks of shit, 3 seconds SERSIOUSLY is too long to be in there.
Your scanner, says "Immo fault" - that vechile/ that fault worth checking
the wiring under dash has not chaffed on the steering colum, but it smells to bad - you also need to check the fuses - inside the dashboard - it stinks REAL bad
What do you do?
__________________________________________________ _____________
So this bloke comes, he has been in before, he DOES
*NOT* SPEAK
*ANY* Inglish that is any good.
You have no choice, but to go outside and get him to show you what he wants doing.
This guy is now demonstrating a dead trafficator and pretending to hit it - fine - no problem.
Next fault, some thing about <TURNS STEERING WHEEL> '8 kilometer'
He says this 5 times - what do you do.
1) Start engines, work indicators check self cancelling?
2) grunt and walk off?
As it happens, instantly suss it's the Comms 200 module, but how do you explain that they are 'a pig' to fit and very expensive?
What would you do.
Then the coont comes in a day later to rearrange his booking - had no idea what job was to choose a clear day!
Spoke good enough Inglish to another member of 'Team Meat' - coont.
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