What would you do?

[Meat-Head]

What would you do in a situation like these:

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1) Customer phones to say he is dropping his Ferrari off this afternoon
for you to look at the next morning.

When the customer arrives he mentions the car spluttered a bit
3 miles ago.

You come to bring the car in, every body has buggered off, no body
is around anywhere, jump in it, (flat battery - it's ~~~~ed, that's what it's in for ) connect jump pack, crank crank, cranck long time, nil poi, no fuel in it AT ALL, you try to wind it in the workshop on the starter, but one of the rear brakes has stuck on, so you put the boost charger on it,
even set to 24 volt 'SUPER FAST CRANK FOR LORRYS ONLY', the starter
just hasn't got the power to move the thing, the passenger window is
STUCK down (customer drove with it down), time now is 35 mins after you closed, you HAVE to log on to DK SOON, what do you do?

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2) Customer brings in car for you to fit their supplied window regulator
the boss fits it in 'record time'.

3 days later car comes back, "since you mate the door open light is
saying door open" You strip it and find the boss has BOLTED the
window mech on the light in the door INSIDE the door, what do
you say to the customer?
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3) Customer brings his car in, 1/2 hour late, (no speedo), he guy smells
like the curry factory and is hovering VERY close. You suss out
in approx 2 mins the fault.

do you:

a) Rip the clocks out first thing

OR

b) Spin the job out for TWO hours because the bloke has pissed you off

YOU TRY, but fail to fix the speedo, what do you charge the customer?

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3) Car comes in - non starter - for no reason the - unlocked, good battery etc the factory back up alarm siren startes wailing and you can't
stop it, what do you do?
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4) A car comes in the customer has had the car since new, it's been to the dealer something like 8 times in 2 years, VERY LARGE BILLS, 'Checked this, that and the other', the DEALER actually says to the customer Quote "We don't know, what is wrong with your car, take it to Meat-Head-Motors" The customer brings NO paper work from the dealer, so you have 'no idea' what to do, but suspect either ABS module or CIM module, the customer WANTS the car back asap, as they are going to France in it on Sunday day is Thursday! What do you do/charge the customer?

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5) Friday afternoon(2:30pm), bird turns up (worth a damm good dicking), the man with her (found out later, her step dad - lucky git), says "cuts out, wont start" you say "20 notes + vat to plug computer in"

plugs in, show customer ONE listed fault "Lumpy stick sensor - permanent" - you ring the dealer, price it, dealer has part, 45 notes + vat retail, cost 19 notes + vat.

you lie and say "can't get the part till Monday", as you are VERY busy looking at DK, the customer books in and want's to take the car away, but it now won't start - (the thing cuts out remember), the customer WANTS to take the car, yeah, no problem, take a seat, the customer decides to 'pop to town for something" - yeah pop back when you have been to town.

10 mins later, it starts do you

a) call the customer
b) park it out side

15 mins AFTER closing time, you see it is still outside, what do you do?

a) leave it out
b) lock it up
c) call the customer?


Monday comes, phone rings like 9:15 "IS MY CAR READY YET?"

So, you remember to order the part, fit it ready to go about 10:15

Start it up, starts MUCH better, after 2 mins engine light comes on, plug
it in, comes up "Sideward facing foo-foo valve - intermittant"
so it's either seized over the weekend or it WAS seized when it came in, twacked it with a LARGE hammer, no good. You price on up
140+vat no stock, pig to fit.

do you

a) Call the customer or b) let them ring you?

11am phone rings (The phone we use we fished out of a skip for reference) "Hello <CRACKLE> Hi there it's <POP> att from Meat-City-Ford <HISS>, who, some tw&at from Ford, <HISS> no it's
MATT from Ford, oh <BASH PHONE ON DESK> that car you did it's
my daughters, we were going to fix it"

AT no point did we know who the customers parents were!

"ARGUE ARGUE MOAN MOAN, about the bill" reckons didn't know anything about plugging in charge, (Genuine LOW sensable price"

What do you do?

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6)
Customer rings up, "car won't start", boss goes out spends ONE hour on it, can't get it to run, says to the customer "What happened"
customer says "Came out, cranck cranck no start", not touched it.

Anyway boss has no signal on his mobile (think they cut it off again)
so uses the customers mobile to call the workshop for phone number of towing company, boss punches in the number, gets the info, , pressses 'End Call' notices on the screen (customer has out number stored) it says "M-H-M The Fools" he says nothing.

Next day car comes on tow truck, i walk out side INSTANTLY 1/2 suss the fault, ecu not powering up, sees a fuse on the chassis leg, uses a 'data' programme, see the relays, links out, click clunck, no start, thinks "WEird", gets collered by 2 seperate, irrtants, ~~~~ed them off sees fuses missing, looks on 'data' programme, engine man fuses missing, so is fuel, ram, stuff, cracnk crack, WROMM, yep it starts, and the rev limiter works-bonus. EXCATLY 15 mins to sort (yes i'm good)

What do you say and charge the customer?

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7) Local car sales pitch 'Goes bust' most of Meat-City somehow screwed
over by them, next day, same phone number, new name, same asshole sales man, owe M-H-M 75+vat.

They tow a car down, shitty rover 75 V6, EARLY one (Dare't run it longer than 3 seconds in case inlet valve drops off), non starter, been stood
mouldy seat belts etc, smells of pig piss.

EXCATLY 15 mins, FIXED it, maxi fuses under bonnet blown.

Ordered new one, put two nuts/bolts on it wafted black areosol can over it to make the fuse look old, fitted it, told them it was the BCM loocked up and something else. that's 175+vat

What would you have done?

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8) Your out road testing a NEW car that hasn't been PDI'd yet, you get forced off the road by some Gypo in a transit van and just SKIM this
NEW CAR with like 6 miles on the clock, down the side of a van belonging to a 'popular communications company', you take a swing round the block, and go past the van again, you notice, the van is half on the footpath, with a 'clean bit', nobody is around, so nobody saw anything - you get back to the workshop, park it in the yard, and see a 'scuff' on the rear wheel arch.

Do you say anything to the dealer?

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9) You have a car living with you for a week, lots of work, basically, you have had a temporary wire jambed in the fusebox for 48 hours (on and off, more on than off) - you forget to remove one night, next morning, funny smell, burnt bit of wire, burnt carpet - something went deadshort in the night- what do you do?
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10) the end of your lead light drops off with out you noticing, and BURNS A HOLE in the carpet, what do you do?

Turns out RARE expensive carpet, can't get another one, fortune if you can.

What do you do?

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THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ, IF YOU ARE GOING TO REPLY, PLEASE REPLY TO ALL MENTIONED, THANKS

[the_riddler]

Jesus Man You on "speed" or what?????

1) I "WILL" get that thing in one way or another,
If on my own, would first try drag it in with another car,
(not one of mine!),
If not poss, then would (quickly) sort rear brakes, and crank it in.
OH, and yes his bill would be BIG......

2) Would tell customer that there was "a fault with the wiring",
which is true, just wouldn't tell them, youre company created the fault...
If the customer remained polite throught this, then would not charge them, but if they got snooty about it then, would bill them.

3) Fix the car in two minutes, keep keys in pocket, and charge him for 1/2 hour labour,

"No fix no charge", asuming that we "should" have been able to fix..

3) No.3 part 2
Get vehicle inside disconnect battery, disconnect siren / horn,
If battery-back-up, Wrap it towel ETC, lock-up, deal with it in the morning....

4) If customer wants "cheap-fix", then that may take longer,
So they "hire" a car and go to france, with piece of mind,
If there not willing to do that, Walk away, who needs to inheret there problems,

5) If they bring car to you, and takes 5-mins to scan, then would, tell them what scanner found, No-charge, then would explain that scanner are "not a garenteed" fix, and are only a guide, scope sensor, if faulty change it, clear codes, quick road test, re-scan, bill em....

Call customer "get the vehicle out of your charge" as soon as possible... ( no liability that way )..

If they asked "you" to fix it then they pay...If fords help you out a bit, often, then think about reducing the bill, but only if they "HELP" you, if not then "Screw-em"

6)
If they got you down as fools, then i guess you have to ack like fools,,,

fix it, sting-em..

They need us as much as we need them..

7) Would have done somthing simular, and then told them "NO" credit facilities for "NEW" customers, get payed before giving car back..

8)
Allways..own-up to that,
Not worth bitting off the hand that feeds ya....

9)
Phone insurance company.. thats what why we pay them...


10)
BE MORE CAREFULL YOU CLUMSEY, MEAT-HEAD.

Theres allways a way to fix.. Most burns like that can be "Smart Repaired"

MY OWN worst expirence like this was with a lotus esprit wind screen.....
Carried out massive rebuild on one, that required the screen to be removed, to gain access to dash / baulkhead,
Bonded screen came out with-out damage (amassed),
All repairs went perfect, now time to return screen to car,
Cleaned up shell and screen, rebonded and stuck back in car,
Left suction handles attached to screen, placed sheet over glass and placed light wieght on screen, (helps em stick better),
went home,
Next day, removed wieght, removed sheet, removed one suction cap, Everything was perfect,,,,,UNTIL removed second suction cup, I guess cup must have been placed over "chip" because as soon as the vacuum was released, 300mm long crack shot across the screen..(siht)..
OK so got to change screen now, i re-cut the bonding, re-attached the vacuum handles, got a mate to help lift it out, and niether of us had noticed that a very small piece of bond had attached it self to the lower left-hand side of the dash cover,

YEH you guessed it, screen came-out perfectly, with a 500mm long 30mm wide section of dash leather, right across the dash....

.................................................. .................................................. ....

[z786]

i'd shoot myself


or deny all wrong doing

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ4axo9rmJY]YouTube - Shaggy - It Wasn't Me (Music Video)[/ame]

[thewizardofodds]

1. Have a spliff and think about it.

2.Have a spliff and think about it.

3.Have a spliff and think about it.

4.Have a spliff and think about it.

5.Have a spliff and think about it.

6.Have a spliff and think about it.

7.Have a spliff and think about it.

8.Have a spliff and think about it.

9.Have a spliff and think about it.

10.Realise that smoking all this weed is causing me to **** up everything I touch and go back to sniffing petrol

[Loaded]

Most of the time problem is with the customer, not the car. Cars can ALWAYS be fixd, people cant.

If they argue for price or time I tell them "jog on"

[Sleuth]

Calm down a bit..take it nice and slow,haste makes waste, fix each one properly.Have a large car cover-tarp ready for cars that wont start when its beer thirty. Booster pack on 24 volt..come on you know better than that ! Charge extra for stuff that bothers you, always make the Boss look good(but kindly remind him of his ~~~~-up :-)..maybe a bonus in it for you..Remind the Boss ..If I cant find the time to do it right now, how will I ever find the time to do it again? Watch real careful every thing you do..even if you have done it a thousand times. ALWAYS get paid for your work before the Car leaves, allow customers to test drive if they wish.
Always be professional and honest in your dealing
Dont dig a rut that you will not be able to get out of doing hasty work, oneday a few customers will pay you extra to be picky, pisnickety about the way you do stuff and Most of all? Enjoy the day remembering, if it was easy, everybody would be doing this kind of work !

[Furax]

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1) Hook it upto the back of another car and drag its sorry arse into the garage. Door down, intarwebs on and a cold pint, possibly discussing/venting with people how crappy Ferraris are

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2) Fix it properly, ridicule boss for being such a cretin. Inform the customer it was just a "fitting error" and its now all sorted, no charge
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3) Failure is not an option! I would inform the customer that you might not be looking at it for a while and to leave. I wouldnt spin the job out as such but it really does annoy me that if you fix something in 5mins a customer thinks you should only be paid for 5 mins. When in fact its your lifetime of experience with clocking cars and the discovery of a "oh no, not again" note in the cluster allows you to put 2 and 2 together and find out its some bluetack jammed in the cluster to slow the onset of age.. or something. If it couldnt be fixed there would be no charge for labor, however i would inform the driver that it used to be serviced once every 160k back when it was a taxi.

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3) Rag in the siren!
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4) Break it down with the customer, explain the possibilities and the time scale and the costs and let him make the decision. Point out if the dealer cant fix it atall, then getting you to fix in in a few days is a pretty tall order.

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5) well i wouldnt have faffed with it trying to start it if the job was leaving, Ide leave it inside and call the owner though saying "its running, come get it quick. you need to be running or at least jogging" (she has big boobs right??)

a) leave it out - if its broke down in the street and the owners with it I would offer for it to be fixed again. If its just dumped though ide leave it be.

a) Call the customer

Tell the ford guy thats no problem, you just need to be paid for the sensor and the labor that his daughter authorized, they can now fix this new fault. The rest of the day would be spent pondering why she didn't just goto her dad in the first place, maybe she fancied you.. thatd be nice.

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6) Hours labor + a few quid for fuses. If he meat head are fools yet still comes to them.. he is a bigger idiot!

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7) Sounds like fair game if he is an arsehole. I generally refer to it as twat tax, and it gets added to bills on very special occasions.

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8) Probably, they are insured for stuff like this.

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9) Fix it, be thankful the thing didnt go up in flames!
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10) Actually done this one, in my own car though! Bite the bullet and buy a new carpet.. its only fair.

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[Meat-Head]

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1) Hook it upto the back of another car and drag its sorry arse into the garage. Door down, intarwebs on and a cold pint, possibly discussing/venting with people how crappy Ferraris are
----------------

10) Actually done this one, in my own car though! Bite the bullet and buy a new carpet.. its only fair.

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THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

This is the kind of reply was looking for in terms of each point.

Will update this thread in a few days time - don't want to bias peoples
answers, on what was done on each job.

If Admin/Mods are reading this did try to make it into a poll, non expiering, names shown who posted, multi choice, but sodding thing expired before could do it <thanks>

1) Deny everything
2) Admit everything
3) Fight the customer
4) Loose money
5) Make money

[Liteace]

It would have to be

3) Fight the customer

everytime, but as Loaded said
"Most of the time problem is with the customer, not the car"
unless its french or they are both french, the car and the customer

[Meat-Head]

11) For what ever GENUINE reason you remove a cambelt that has done 10,000
miles, do you:

a) Argue with the customer about not refitting the old belt
b) Just fit a new belt, worry about the customer moaning later
c) Don't even think about, just fit old belt

[Liteace]

b) Just fit a new belt, worry about the customer moaning later

Then when they moan show them in AD or TD where is says never refit used belt, you may have to select a different vehicle but just make sure you move the page down so they can't see what vehicle you have selected

[Meat-Head]

12) Your out - shop lifting, in court, robbing wheels out car parks, what ever
but your out.

You walk in, to see your boss, slamming the doors on a MK4 Furry Jester
You have no idea why, the customer not only looks like Victor Meldrue
but is also hovering.

Your boss says "Any idea why the door open warning light is on?"

To which you reply, "Furry Jester, try the bonnect switch"
Your boss opens the bonnet and instantly notices the bonnet switch is
bend over and broken.

The customer then turns a funny shade of green, and starts accusing the company of damaging the bonnet switch. Saying "It was alright this morning"

What do you do or say? ( sorry not able to update the true answer of this as
have no idea the outcome)

[Liteace]

Tell him bonnet switch must of been a bit sticky, partially seized and when you closed the bonnet it must of bent the switch, order a new one fit it and give him the bill

[puntoPat]

u need a holiday, take that car to france with a box of matches, when u come back clear your stuff out and change your address

[the_riddler]

12) Tell customer your insurance will not cover them in workshop, for a start get them out the workshop, then you can tell em, ANYTHING...