wise words, specially the bit at the end. He who laughs last etc. DH
N3 Crack team assemble!
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i have come about the job
I have a cse in combined science and was good with Amos Pro basic including compiling and good at interviews, I await your callElectrical Engineer:
Candidate should have an indepth knowledge of Electrical Engineering.
A full Bsc EE at a minimum a masters would be advantageous.
required duties:
Acid stripping of emembeded cards, operation of electron microscopes, ocilloscopes, menial tasks like lazer etch work, prefabbing test boards, the ability to design and reverse engineer microproccessors from scratch and the ability to work within tolerances of mere angstroms would be required.
Additional duties would involve fixing the damned coffee machine.
Coder:
Candidate should have an indepth knowledge of embeded systems.
A full BSc in Comp Sci essential, a masters would be adventageous.
Required Duties:
Menial embeded chores like writing firmware for a variety of different embeded systems. None of this hogwash attitude of "screw it ill just write a linux hack and unleash that onto the dbox2 community, some other douchebag can figure out the details of the embeded stuff"
A full competent in depth knowledge of C/C++, the ability to read crazy math departments dark voodo magic psudocode and work to a required spec.
experience working with low level assembly language on a variety of processors and chipsets
Adittional duties:
Making snoopy calandars via Fortran on a line printer.
Tetris clones and ensuring the boss gets his "god mode" at MW2
Mathmatician
Candidate should hold a deep understanding of cryptology and the ability to write psudocode.
A BSc in Applied Mathmatics essential a masters would be adventageous. Numerologists will be immediately show the door.
Duties include, liasing with that idiot engineer (the moron cant even keep the coffee machine working and insists on a stupid budget for "duct tape.")
Your primary responsability will be to decypher what the engineer gives you (expect coffee stains and a fain smell of donuts on all reports) then figure out how to reverse engineer it, writing it down as unintelligable moonspeak psudocode for that idiot programmer (he got the boss banned from playing MW2 for cheating, so his job might become open soon enough)
Essentily your job will be completely dissregarded, expect no credit, just figure out how all the numbers work like any glorified accountant would.
Additional duties:
Figuring out the bosses taxes, making the coders life hell, hiding the duct tape expenses somewhere in the books, sourcing an offshore tax haven.
Manager
candidate should have white teeth and shiny hair.
Experience in... who am i kidding a BSc in combing hair and greasing palms cant possibly exist can it?
Duties will include, holding long and time consuming meetings to make sure everyone is prevented from any actual real work.
tinkering with things you dont understand, IE MW2 and the Coffee Machine.
Micro managing other candidates and offering insights and input into subjects you really have no clue about.
Additional Duties:
Cashing in huge paychecques and giving the operation a sense of legitimacy.
Making everyone misserable whenever your in the building.
Stealing credit for any and every piece of hard work that floats by.
Applications should be on a large Self Addressed Envelope and incluse a CV and coversheet.
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