It's a blond, blond, blond, blond world, Part 1

[tedryler]

Two blonds, one on either side of a river.

First blond yells across to the other one:
"How do I get to the other side?"

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Second blond pauses a moment to think, then yells:
"You ARE on the other side."

[patkins]

Good first post ted and keep the jokes coming.
Welcome to DK and enjoy your stay.

[cactikid]

i would have said jump in

[racin-snake]

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

[racin-snake]

A blind man wanders into an all-girls biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter: "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky, voice the "woman" next to him says; "Before you tell that joke.... Sir; I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:-

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 14 stone blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now; think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"


The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters; "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[racin-snake]

Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other?

?I can?t take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let?s just pick one whether it?s decorated or not!?

[racin-snake]

A blonde was speeding in a 30 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."