> Recession beater. Wife says to
>
> husband, "If you cycle to work, we can get rid of the second car." He
>
> replies, "If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can
>
> get rid of the nanny!"
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
> What's the difference between a
>
> refugee and ET?
>
> ET looked better, smelled
>
> better, learnt English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fcuking bike and
>
> wanted to go home!
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> A guy gets a call from the police
>
> telling him his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his
>
> beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says,
>
> "I can't believe they fcuked my wife after only five cans!"
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> Got this text from my brother
>
> recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? My missus kicked
>
> me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of
>
> her sister's throat!"
>
>
>
> Was shagging this bird over her
>
> kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my
>
> husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking back, I really should have
>
> legged it - but you don't get offers like that every day.
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> Sorry for not calling you on New
>
> Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the fcuk out of
>
> this bloke at a party. In my defence... when you hear an Arab counting down
>
> from 10, your instincts kick in.
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
>
>
> I saw a fortune teller the other
>
> day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I rooted a sheila
>
> called Penny - spooky or what?
>
>
>
> The missus asked me, "When
>
> you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?" Apparently "Only
>
> to stop myself coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> My wife is pissed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night and
>
> swapped her tampon for a party popper. No sense of humour.
>
> __________________________________________________ _
>
> When asked in a recent survey,
>
> 90 per cent of Australian men responded that their most memorable and
>
> joyous moment in life was being present at the birth of their first-born
>
> child.. Obviously none of them have ever seen an abo being run
> down by a train........
>
> husband, "If you cycle to work, we can get rid of the second car." He
>
> replies, "If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can
>
> get rid of the nanny!"
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
> What's the difference between a
>
> refugee and ET?
>
> ET looked better, smelled
>
> better, learnt English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fcuking bike and
>
> wanted to go home!
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> A guy gets a call from the police
>
> telling him his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his
>
> beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says,
>
> "I can't believe they fcuked my wife after only five cans!"
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> Got this text from my brother
>
> recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? My missus kicked
>
> me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of
>
> her sister's throat!"
>
>
>
> Was shagging this bird over her
>
> kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my
>
> husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking back, I really should have
>
> legged it - but you don't get offers like that every day.
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> Sorry for not calling you on New
>
> Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the fcuk out of
>
> this bloke at a party. In my defence... when you hear an Arab counting down
>
> from 10, your instincts kick in.
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
>
>
> I saw a fortune teller the other
>
> day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I rooted a sheila
>
> called Penny - spooky or what?
>
>
>
> The missus asked me, "When
>
> you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?" Apparently "Only
>
> to stop myself coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.
>
> __________________________________________________ __
>
>
>
> My wife is pissed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night and
>
> swapped her tampon for a party popper. No sense of humour.
>
> __________________________________________________ _
>
> When asked in a recent survey,
>
> 90 per cent of Australian men responded that their most memorable and
>
> joyous moment in life was being present at the birth of their first-born
>
> child.. Obviously none of them have ever seen an abo being run
> down by a train........