Literature for the 21st Century. Similes for chavs and Sun readers:

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  • jordigirl
    DK Veteran
    • Oct 2011
    • 716

    #1

    Literature for the 21st Century. Similes for chavs and Sun readers:

    1. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
    2. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
    3. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on a 50 pence-a-pint night.
    4. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides compressed by pliars.
    5. She was as happy as a 21 year old mother of 6 on full benefits innit.
    6. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
    7. Stu fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with shit.
    8. As last orders rang, he ran to the bar like it was 2 minutes before the dole office closed.
    9. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was a room-temperature bag of mince.
    10. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound gran makes just before she throws up.







  • jctech
    DK Veteran
    • Dec 2009
    • 664

    #2
    Literature.... is that like litracha for posh people??

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