Nursery Rhymes

[devilededd]

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
The cat died of electric shock.


Georgie P~~~~ pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cos he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead..
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad . . ..
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

You have to be old enough to appreciate this.
If you don't understand, it is because you are too young!

[pantomime horse]

mary had a little pig
that pig was always grunting
so mary took her little pig
and kicked its ~~~~ing c*nt in

mary had a little lamb
she also had a little duck
she put them on the mantlepiece
to see if they would f*ck