last week i came home and was greeted by my wife dressed in a very sexy nightie, tie me up she purred and you can do anything you want, so i tied her up and went golfing
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hehe
One Sunday morning, a woman gets a call from her upset elderly mother with the sad news that her father has passed away.
Daughter "How did it happen?"
Mother "He passed away during our lovemaking"
Daughter "Do you not think you were a bit old for that Mother??,. you're 83 for gods sake"
Mother "Well,. we went to the Docs, he said that as long as we kept things nice and gentle, there would not be an issue" she sobbed. "Infact he suggested that your Father kept in time with the church bells on a Sunday morning - in with a ding - out with a dong so to speak"
Daughter "And???"
Mother "It was all going so well until the damn Ice Cream van drove past"
ddddrrrrrrr bassshhhh"Racing is life... everything before and after is just waiting." Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney in 'Le Mans'sigpic
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keep em coming lads funnyComment
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Old Girl contacts her deceased husband through a medium and asks "how are things with you ?".
Deceased husband says " Oh not bad , i get up early , have sex , eat , go out for the morning , have sex , eat lunch , have sex , go out till late , have sex , come home , have sex , go to bed , have sex , go to sleep , wake up and do it all again .
Old Girl says " you were never hungry for sex when you were with me ?? "
Husband replies " when i was with you , i wasn't a rabbit in Suffolk ! "
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hoppit m8 thats a groanerComment
bloody ice-cream vans eh
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