Best put down of the decade if not the century

[senga]

Some nice one`s here.


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
> -- Winston Churchill
>
> "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
> great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
>
> "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
> the dictionary." -- William ~~~~~~~~ (about Ernest Hemingway)
>
> "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
> -- Groucho Marx
>
> "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
> approved of it." -- Mark Twain
>
> "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
> -- Oscar Wilde
>
> "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
> bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to
> Winston Churchill...followed by:
>
> Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will
> attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill
>
> "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
> -- Stephen Bishop
>
> "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
>
> "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
> -- Irvin S. Cobb
>
> "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
> -- Samuel Johnson
>
> "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
> -- Paul Keating
>
> "He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
>
> "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
> on it?" -- Mark Twain
>
> "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
> -- Mae West
>
> "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
> -- Oscar Wilde
>
> Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
> "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
>
> Churchill replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
>




Senga

[forntida]

Where have you been all of my life, "I wasn't born half of it"

[zaphodbb]

i was chatting up a girl in a nightclub many years ago and she said to me "if your dick is as big as your mouth i will see you outside in ten minutes" needless to say i never went

[gmb45]

i was chatting up a girl in a nightclub many years ago and she said to me "if your dick is as big as your mouth i will see you outside in ten minutes" needless to say i never went

nice 1 m8

[Mr Pumpy]

> "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
> approved of it." -- Mark Twain

[gmb45]

is that your face or r u breaking it in for a bulldog

[Mr Pumpy]

An all time classic.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx

[zaphodbb]

?America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

oscar wilde

[forntida]

would you give the side next to the sea a wee rub now

[Krypton]

think it was lady astor who said to churchill;
"you sir, are drunk"
to which churchill replied
"yes madam, but you are ugly, and i shall be sober in the morning"

[forntida]

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

He's the first in his family born without a tail.

[RedSpider]

I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce

[RedSpider]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.


Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off!
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.

[Bulld0g]

is that your face or r u breaking it in for a bulldog

Yes it's mine

[Krypton]

Why are you so fat?
Because every time I ~~~~ your mom, she gives me a biscuit.