are you scottish - i am

[Lainie]

Are you Scottish? I am............ You know you are a true Scot if.............

Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufur~~~sake.
Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
Ye kin faw about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
Ye measure distance in minutes.
Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.
Ye kin mak hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.
You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.
Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies aw in the wan shop.
Yer holiday hame it the seaside has calor gas under it.
Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.
Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin
clarty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
erse bandit
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nugget
And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, 'Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?' 'Naw,' replies the butcher. 'It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

[Lainie]

hmmmmm

Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....




2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs/humans around the globe.







It gets worse........




Next year......

























2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?

[andy4]

~~~~ me mines dropped off already

[Lainie]

oops should have been 2 separate threads - netbook is playing up.

[chroma]

Had family up from England, a few from Yorkshire, a few Geordies and a couple of Scousers and we got to talking about Scots dialect, ie: they couldnae underston a wurd a wis sain.
phrases that perplexed and mystefied...

eh breeds awe foosty, its ****in mawkit.
ur ye glaikit?
how cum ye keep slingin me eh beadie?
TEAUCHTERS!
whit ye foutering about wae?
eh boss caught him skiving through eh back, he was pure scunnered.
ah kin unnerston you. your eh wan at cannae unerston me, so whos eh eejit en?
ye want a hauf?
its pishin doon, pure dreich oot er.
whit ye hingin eh pettit lip fur?
christ its eh back o wan.
she hud a coupon on hur like a stuntmans knee.
the wee dick got oxtered oot.
ye missed yersel the other night, everywan wis burlin.
he hud a fizzer like a hauf shut knife.
i planked eh binscuits earlier fae ma daftie brother.
gonnae geese a haun' wae this?
check eh bumfles on you! dae you no know how tae iron?
haud yer wheesht ya we bam.

You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

only ever had this happen during auld firm games, and who the hell wid git merried on an auld firm game?

It's great speaking a language that few outside can even begin to comprehend, then refer to us as thick.
there was also a study done regarding timbre, pitch, tone and tempo and its been proven that scots is actualt spoken slightly slower than the majority of english dialects. so "your talking too fast" as an excuse doesn't make you seem any less thick

[jeff juke]

JUST READ YER THING OWN IM SCOTTISH.WELL IM A TRUE SCOT TAE AND I HATE TAE HEAR THE PEOPLE OF SCOTLAND NO TALKIN IN THEIR MOTHER TONGUE OR SLANG,THANKS FUR THIS WAN.

[hoggy952]

Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....




2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs/humans around the globe.







It gets worse........




Next year......

























2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?

Next year is 2011...

2010 is the year of the tiger, not cock and look what a year he's had!

[stuckylad]

Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....




2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs/humans around the globe.







It gets worse........




Next year......

























2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?

yer jist a big baw o fun mrs

[tonitoni]

nice one!!

[zaphodbb]

2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?[/QUOTE]

hmm its year o the tiger right enuff, think ye must be gaggin fur the podger lainie, whits up no gettin yer nat king cole. me tae thot it wiz the year o the montivani

[2000673]

ahahahahha thats funny

[darrenhyland]

2010 year of the tiger ...... coming from ireland that makes perfect sense, given its when our Celtic Tiger upped and died with Eurine flu and we are all fu**ed here ever since.