old lady

[stuckylad]

An Old Lady
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter,'It's only someone
having the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with
the conversation.

Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.
'Oh my God,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head
drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go there,'says St. Peter.. 'You'll be raped and taken
advantage of.'

'Maybe so, says the old lady, but I've already got the holes
for that.'

[willsr]

For a labour of love, it was the DIY job of the century. Brick by brick, the gutsy little old lady demolished her precious home, pulling each medieval nail from its ancient oak beam.
Dressed in a workman's apron, her greying hair tucked beneath a headscarf, she single-handedly piled high the thousands of hand-made Hertfordshire peg tiles from the roof.
Huge timbers were loaded onto a lorry, alongside Tudor fireplaces and Elizabethan diamond leaded glass, for a rebuild that would consume the rest of her life.
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