A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, ?Please be gentle, I?m still a virgin.?
?What?? said the puzzled groom.
?How can that be if you?ve been married ten times??
?Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he?d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn?t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn?t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn?t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was? God! I miss him! But now that I?ve married you, I?m really excited!?
?Good,? said the new husband, ?but, why??
?You?re a lawyer. This time I know I?m gonna get screwed!? -
?What?? said the puzzled groom.
?How can that be if you?ve been married ten times??
?Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he?d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn?t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn?t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn?t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was? God! I miss him! But now that I?ve married you, I?m really excited!?
?Good,? said the new husband, ?but, why??
?You?re a lawyer. This time I know I?m gonna get screwed!? -