funny!
Here are a couple of funnies that show even the smartest of people can lose it sometimes.
Jeremy Paxman:What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant:Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman:No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant:Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston:There's a clue in the title.
Contestant:Leicester
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White:Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:I don't know.
Stewart White:I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant:Arm
Stewart White:Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant:Strong.
Stewart White:Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant:Louis
Stewart White:Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski:What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant:France.
Trelinski:France is another country. Try again.
Contestant:Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski:Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski:Just guess a country then.
Contestant:Paris.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant:The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark :For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis:I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne:What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant:Goosey?
GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter:What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?
Contestant:I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER)
Phil:What's 11 squared?
Contestant:I don't know.
Phil:I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant:Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:Which American actor was married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant:Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant:Er. .. ..
Richard:He makes bread . .
Contestant:Er . ....
Richard:He makes cakes . .
Contestant:Kipling Street?
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter:Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant:Barcelona.
Presenter:I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant:I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant:The Pacific.
ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter:Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant:Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant:Magna Carta?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien:How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant:Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle:In which European country isMount Etna?
Caller:Japan.
Chris Searle:I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller:Er ...... Mexico ?
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat:How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israellast?
Contestant (long pause):Fourteen days.
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham:In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:Holland?
Daryl Denham:Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant:Iceland? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully)It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant:No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood:What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant:Er. ... ..
Phil Wood:It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .
Contestant:Blimey?
Phil Wood:Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..
Contestant
Silence)
Phil Wood:OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . .. .
Contestant:Walked?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes:What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant:Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter:What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant:Jewish.
Presenter:That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright:Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant:Jesus.
Jeremy Paxman:What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant:Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman:No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant:Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston:There's a clue in the title.
Contestant:Leicester
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White:Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:I don't know.
Stewart White:I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant:Arm
Stewart White:Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant:Strong.
Stewart White:Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant:Louis
Stewart White:Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski:What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant:France.
Trelinski:France is another country. Try again.
Contestant:Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski:Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski:Just guess a country then.
Contestant:Paris.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant:The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark :For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis:I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne:What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant:Goosey?
GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter:What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?
Contestant:I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER)
Phil:What's 11 squared?
Contestant:I don't know.
Phil:I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant:Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:Which American actor was married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant:Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant:Er. .. ..
Richard:He makes bread . .
Contestant:Er . ....
Richard:He makes cakes . .
Contestant:Kipling Street?
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter:Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant:Barcelona.
Presenter:I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant:I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant:The Pacific.
ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter:Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant:Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant:Magna Carta?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien:How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant:Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle:In which European country isMount Etna?
Caller:Japan.
Chris Searle:I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller:Er ...... Mexico ?
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat:How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israellast?
Contestant (long pause):Fourteen days.
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham:In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:Holland?
Daryl Denham:Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant:Iceland? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully)It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant:No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood:What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant:Er. ... ..
Phil Wood:It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .
Contestant:Blimey?
Phil Wood:Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..
Contestant
Silence)Phil Wood:OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . .. .
Contestant:Walked?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes:What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant:Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter:What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant:Jewish.
Presenter:That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright:Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant:Jesus.