J.D. Copley
District Inspector
INLAND REVENUE
West Midlands
Crown House
Victoria Street
DUDLEY
WEST MIDLANDS
Tel : Dudley
(01384) 5832211 Ext. 220B
To : All Male Taxpayers
From : Inland Revenue
Subject : Increased Tax Payments
Dear Taxpayer
The only thing which the Inland Revenue has not taxed is your willy.
This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around
unemployed, 30% of the time it is just pissing around, 20% of the time it
is hard-up, and only 10% of the time does it actually rise to the
occasion and become usefully employed - but then it operates in total
darkness.
Furthermore, it has two dependents who are both nuts.
However, with effect from the start of the next tax year, your willy
will be taxed in proportion to its size,
You should determine the appropriate category and insert the additional
tax under "Other Taxes" in Part V, Line 61 of your Tax Return.
Willy Checker Scale
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10" - 12" Luxury Tax ?50.00
8" - 10" Pole Tax ?25.00
6" - 8" Privilege Tax ?15.00
4" - 6" Nuisance Tax ? 5.00
Notes:
1. Anyone with a willy under 4" (four inches) is eligible for a Tax Rebate.
2. Do not apply for an extension; they will not be granted.
3. Males with willies in excess ot 12" (twelve inches) are required to
submit details under "Capital Gains"
Yours faithfully,
pp
Will Cutoffa-Pecker
H.M. Inspector of Taxes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
District Inspector
INLAND REVENUE
West Midlands
Crown House
Victoria Street
DUDLEY
WEST MIDLANDS
Tel : Dudley
(01384) 5832211 Ext. 220B
To : All Male Taxpayers
From : Inland Revenue
Subject : Increased Tax Payments
Dear Taxpayer
The only thing which the Inland Revenue has not taxed is your willy.
This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around
unemployed, 30% of the time it is just pissing around, 20% of the time it
is hard-up, and only 10% of the time does it actually rise to the
occasion and become usefully employed - but then it operates in total
darkness.
Furthermore, it has two dependents who are both nuts.
However, with effect from the start of the next tax year, your willy
will be taxed in proportion to its size,
You should determine the appropriate category and insert the additional
tax under "Other Taxes" in Part V, Line 61 of your Tax Return.
Willy Checker Scale
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10" - 12" Luxury Tax ?50.00
8" - 10" Pole Tax ?25.00
6" - 8" Privilege Tax ?15.00
4" - 6" Nuisance Tax ? 5.00
Notes:
1. Anyone with a willy under 4" (four inches) is eligible for a Tax Rebate.
2. Do not apply for an extension; they will not be granted.
3. Males with willies in excess ot 12" (twelve inches) are required to
submit details under "Capital Gains"
Yours faithfully,
pp
Will Cutoffa-Pecker
H.M. Inspector of Taxes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cracker ha ha
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