How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?
LOVE -- when your eyes meet across a crowded room
LUST -- when your tongues meet across a crowded room
MARRIAGE -- when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care
LOVE -- when you argue over how many children to have
LUST -- when you argue over who gets the wet spot
MARRIAGE -- when you argue over money
LOVE -- when you share everything you own
LUST -- when you think twice about giving your partner bus money
MARRIAGE -- when the bank owns everything
LOVE -- when it doesn't matter if you don't climax
LUST -- when the relationship is over if you don't climax
MARRIAGE -- what's a climax?
LOVE -- when you phone each other just to say "Gidday"
LUST -- when you phone each other just to organize sex
MARRIAGE -- when you phone each other to find out what time your son's
game starts
LOVE -- when you write poems about your partner
LUST -- when all you write is your phone number
MARRIAGE -- when all you write are cheques'
LOVE -- when you show concern for your partners' feelings
LUST -- when you couldn't give a shit
MARRIAGE -- when your only concern is what's on TV
LOVE -- when your farewell is "I love you darling"
LUST -- when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE -- when your farewell is silent
LOVE -- when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner
LUST -- when you only ever see each other in the bedroom
MARRIAGE -- when you never see each other awake
LOVE -- when your heart flutters every time you see them
LUST -- when your groin twitches every time you see them
MARRIAGE -- when your wallet empties every time you see them
LOVE -- when nobody else matters
LUST -- when nobody else knows
MARRIAGE -- when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows
LOVE -- when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel
LUST -- when it's just the same mushy old shit
MARRIAGE -- when you never listen to music
LOVE -- when breaking up is something you try not to think about
LUST -- when staying to gether is something you try not to think about
MARRIAGE -- when just getting through today is your only thought
LOVE -- when you're interested in everything your partner does
LUST -- when you're only interested in one thing
MARRIAGE -- when you're not interested in what your partner does and
the one thing you're interested in is your golf score
LOVE -- when your eyes meet across a crowded room
LUST -- when your tongues meet across a crowded room
MARRIAGE -- when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care
LOVE -- when you argue over how many children to have
LUST -- when you argue over who gets the wet spot
MARRIAGE -- when you argue over money
LOVE -- when you share everything you own
LUST -- when you think twice about giving your partner bus money
MARRIAGE -- when the bank owns everything
LOVE -- when it doesn't matter if you don't climax
LUST -- when the relationship is over if you don't climax
MARRIAGE -- what's a climax?
LOVE -- when you phone each other just to say "Gidday"
LUST -- when you phone each other just to organize sex
MARRIAGE -- when you phone each other to find out what time your son's
game starts
LOVE -- when you write poems about your partner
LUST -- when all you write is your phone number
MARRIAGE -- when all you write are cheques'
LOVE -- when you show concern for your partners' feelings
LUST -- when you couldn't give a shit
MARRIAGE -- when your only concern is what's on TV
LOVE -- when your farewell is "I love you darling"
LUST -- when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE -- when your farewell is silent
LOVE -- when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner
LUST -- when you only ever see each other in the bedroom
MARRIAGE -- when you never see each other awake
LOVE -- when your heart flutters every time you see them
LUST -- when your groin twitches every time you see them
MARRIAGE -- when your wallet empties every time you see them
LOVE -- when nobody else matters
LUST -- when nobody else knows
MARRIAGE -- when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows
LOVE -- when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel
LUST -- when it's just the same mushy old shit
MARRIAGE -- when you never listen to music
LOVE -- when breaking up is something you try not to think about
LUST -- when staying to gether is something you try not to think about
MARRIAGE -- when just getting through today is your only thought
LOVE -- when you're interested in everything your partner does
LUST -- when you're only interested in one thing
MARRIAGE -- when you're not interested in what your partner does and
the one thing you're interested in is your golf score