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With a lucrative exclusive deal already signed with OK magazine, the Rooneys had been hoping to keep the birth of their baby boy a secret. The game was up however when Prince Charming, Donkey and the Gingerbread man were seen entering the hospital with flowers.
A 45 year old woman said to Wayne Rooney 'if you were 15 years older I would **** you'. Wayne replied 'That's funny I was just thinking the same about you!'
So Coleen's mother has become a grandmother. Wayne Rooney will now look at her in a whole new light.
Wayne Rooney has said today that if he had not made it as a footballer - he may have been a priest.
That would mean a huge change in lifestyle for him. For starters - he'd have to start shagging kids instead of grannys.
NHS cutbacks meant that Coleen and Wayne Rooney had to be in and out of the delivery suite in no more than 90 minutes. Alex Ferguson was furious, he reckons they should have been given at least 96 minutes.
For identification and security purposes all new babies are tagged as soon as they're born in hospital. Kai Wayne Rooney however was tagged, put on a curfew and banned from entering licenced premises anywhere in the northwest of England.
Wayne Rooney was in the showers when he looked down and saw Ferdinands huge penis.
'~~~~ing 'ell Ferdie' says Rooney, 'its true what they say about black men I see.'
'Its not all natural mate' says Ferdinand, 'there's a trick to getting it like that. When you're going to shag Colleen, get your c0ck out and run up the stairs dragging your c0ck along the spindles. Run up and down a few times and your c0ck will be throbbing like a blind cobblers thumb. After a few months you'll notice it's grown'
That night Wayne pulls into the drive and sees Collens shadow cast across the bedroom window. He opens the front door and slips off his tracksuit bottoms. He does as Ferdinand told him and runs up the stairs dragging his c0ck against the spindles'
Brrrrrrrd brrrrrrd goes his c0ck and it starts to get hard.
'~~~~ing hell', says Wayne as his cock starts to get harder and harder. He runs back down - brrrrrrrrrd brrrrrrrrd goes his c0ck. He starts on the last run up the stairs when Colleen opens the door and shouts
'Hurry up Rio, I'm ~~~~ing gagging for it and that soft tw@t will be home soon'
Wayne Rooney missed training today when Coleen went into labour. He phoned the doctor to tell him that her contractions were only five minutes apart. "Is this her first baby?" the doctor asked. ''Errrrrrrmmmmm, no laaa this is her husband"
What would Wayne Rooney be if he wasnt a footballer? A virgin
What's the difference between Kai Rooney and Wayne Rooney ?
One's a fat slaphead that likes sucking on saggy boobs... the other one's a baby.
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