Gordon Brown called Alastair Darling into his office last week & said,
' Alastair , I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win
back Middle England '.
'Good idea PM, how will we go about it?' said Darling.
'Well' said Brown 'we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour
coats, some proper wellies, a stick & a flat cap, oh & a Labrador. Then
we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in Much
Something or other, & we'll show them we really enjoy the
countryside, .... oh & remember not to mention the hunting with dogs
Act' 'Right PM' said Darling.
So this week, all kitted out & with the requisite Labrador at heel,
they set off from London . Eventually they arrived at just the place
they were looking for & found a lovely country pub &, with the dog,
went in & up to the bar.
'Good evening Landlord, two pints of you best ale, from the wood
please' said Brown .
'Good evening Prime Minister' said the landlord, 'two pints of best it
is, coming up'
Brown & Darling stood leaning on the bar contemplating new taxes,
nodding now & again to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog
lay quietly at their feet. As they drank their beer they chatted about
how heart-rending it was that pensioners were being imprisoned for not
paying the council tax, and how good it was that they weren't affected
by the high cost of motor fuel.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened & in came a
grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He walked up to the
Labrador , lifted its tail & looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders
& walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came a wizened farmer who followed the same
procedure.
To the bewilderment of Brown & Darling people of all ages & gender
followed suit over the next hour.
Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, Darling called the
landlord over. 'Tell me' said Darling, 'Why did all those people come
in & look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old English custom?
'Good Lord no,' said the landlord. 'It's just that someone has told
them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes'.
' Alastair , I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win
back Middle England '.
'Good idea PM, how will we go about it?' said Darling.
'Well' said Brown 'we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour
coats, some proper wellies, a stick & a flat cap, oh & a Labrador. Then
we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in Much
Something or other, & we'll show them we really enjoy the
countryside, .... oh & remember not to mention the hunting with dogs
Act' 'Right PM' said Darling.
So this week, all kitted out & with the requisite Labrador at heel,
they set off from London . Eventually they arrived at just the place
they were looking for & found a lovely country pub &, with the dog,
went in & up to the bar.
'Good evening Landlord, two pints of you best ale, from the wood
please' said Brown .
'Good evening Prime Minister' said the landlord, 'two pints of best it
is, coming up'
Brown & Darling stood leaning on the bar contemplating new taxes,
nodding now & again to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog
lay quietly at their feet. As they drank their beer they chatted about
how heart-rending it was that pensioners were being imprisoned for not
paying the council tax, and how good it was that they weren't affected
by the high cost of motor fuel.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened & in came a
grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He walked up to the
Labrador , lifted its tail & looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders
& walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came a wizened farmer who followed the same
procedure.
To the bewilderment of Brown & Darling people of all ages & gender
followed suit over the next hour.
Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, Darling called the
landlord over. 'Tell me' said Darling, 'Why did all those people come
in & look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old English custom?
'Good Lord no,' said the landlord. 'It's just that someone has told
them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes'.