More Murphy's Law's for "Pat kinsella"
Here you go Pat:
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Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the rest room.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
Guy's Variation Rider - If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Decree of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.
Murphy's Office Law - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn't work.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. ♪Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Edict - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers -If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
The Conundrum of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Rule of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. Will's favourite!
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
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Murphy's Law of DIY (Do-It-Yourself )
Any project will require at least two journeys to the hardware shop.
If you need more than one item (pair, four, etc) the probability that one will be damaged or the wrong colour is directly proportional to the desire or need of the object.
You always need more paint.
You never have enough nails, screws or glue.
The likelihood that you will complete a weekend project before the end of the weekend decreases with when you actually start the project.
Therefore: Any plumbing project started after 4pm on Sunday will require an emergency call to the plumber to get the water running again.
To estimate the amount of time needed to complete a project: estimate the amount of time needed, multiply by two and use the next highest unit. Hence: A one hour task will take at least two days to complete.
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Your lost needle will be found by your husband when he is walking around barefoot.
The worst pupil in any class will be a school governor's son.
Uniforms only come in two sizes, too large and too small.
Vital documents that were posted with no errors, will develop errors in the mail.
In order to get a bank loan, you must first prove that you don't need the money.
The classic example of Murphy's law: If you drop a piece of toast it always falls buttered side down.
Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in.
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Inverse of Murphy's Law:
If something does go right subsequent events will show that it would have been better if it had gone wrong.
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--- Ian ---
P.S. Any attempt to print out this copy of Murphy's law will crash the computer.
-----------------------------------
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the rest room.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
Guy's Variation Rider - If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Decree of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.
Murphy's Office Law - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn't work.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. ♪Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Edict - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers -If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
The Conundrum of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Rule of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. Will's favourite!
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
------------------------------
Murphy's Law of DIY (Do-It-Yourself )
Any project will require at least two journeys to the hardware shop.
If you need more than one item (pair, four, etc) the probability that one will be damaged or the wrong colour is directly proportional to the desire or need of the object.
You always need more paint.
You never have enough nails, screws or glue.
The likelihood that you will complete a weekend project before the end of the weekend decreases with when you actually start the project.
Therefore: Any plumbing project started after 4pm on Sunday will require an emergency call to the plumber to get the water running again.
To estimate the amount of time needed to complete a project: estimate the amount of time needed, multiply by two and use the next highest unit. Hence: A one hour task will take at least two days to complete.
--------------------------------------
Your lost needle will be found by your husband when he is walking around barefoot.
The worst pupil in any class will be a school governor's son.
Uniforms only come in two sizes, too large and too small.
Vital documents that were posted with no errors, will develop errors in the mail.
In order to get a bank loan, you must first prove that you don't need the money.
The classic example of Murphy's law: If you drop a piece of toast it always falls buttered side down.
Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in.
---------------------------------
Inverse of Murphy's Law:
If something does go right subsequent events will show that it would have been better if it had gone wrong.
-------------------------------
--- Ian ---
P.S. Any attempt to print out this copy of Murphy's law will crash the computer.
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