> Dear Wife:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've
> been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
>
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
> quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,
> had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
> all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want
> sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
>
> Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
> case, I'm gone.
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
>
> P.S.
> Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
> together! Have a great life!
>
>
>
> Dear Ex-Husband -
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
> cry from what you've been.
>
> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
> griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
>
> I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
> not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
>
> And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the ?49.99
> price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that
> my sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought
> us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything
> happens for a reason, I guess.
>
> I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that
> the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.
>
>
> Signed,
>
> Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
>
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> Carl. I hope that's not a problem..

--------------------------
--- Ian ---
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've
> been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
>
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
> quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,
> had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
> all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want
> sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
>
> Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
> case, I'm gone.
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
>
> P.S.
> Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
> together! Have a great life!
>
>
>
> Dear Ex-Husband -
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
> cry from what you've been.
>
> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
> griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
>
> I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
> not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
>
> And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the ?49.99
> price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that
> my sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought
> us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything
> happens for a reason, I guess.
>
> I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that
> the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.
>
>
> Signed,
>
> Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
>
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> Carl. I hope that's not a problem..

--------------------------
--- Ian ---