A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes
in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now
you probably
won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the
motorway.
"You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything,
but your penis was
severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got ?9000
in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build
a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly
?1000 an inch."
The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide
how many inches
you want. But this is something you should discuss with
your wife. If you
had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she
might be a bit put
out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only
invest in a five
incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that
she plays a role
in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken
with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite worktops."
ok very old i will get me coat "ive not been well you know"
The doctor comes
in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now
you probably
won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the
motorway.
"You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything,
but your penis was
severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got ?9000
in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build
a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly
?1000 an inch."
The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide
how many inches
you want. But this is something you should discuss with
your wife. If you
had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she
might be a bit put
out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only
invest in a five
incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that
she plays a role
in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken
with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite worktops."
ok very old i will get me coat "ive not been well you know"
OK OLD BUT STILL GAVE ME A CHUCKEL 
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