Drive-through cash machines

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  • ianmac
    DK Veteran
    • Oct 2008
    • 922

    #1

    Drive-through cash machines

    "MALE . FEMALE"
    ....... AT THE CASH MACHINE!

    A new sign in the Bank reads:


    "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM
    machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving
    their vehicles.

    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the
    procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures
    have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for
    your gender."



    *******************************


    MALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.


    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN..

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.




    *******************************



    FEMALE PROCEDURE:

    (Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth!!!!)



    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse the required amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to
    its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.


    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on mobile phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.


    27. Release Parking Brake.


    ----------------------------

    --- Ian ---

  • gmb45
    Admin Assistant
    • Nov 2008
    • 7538

    #2
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.
    27. Release Parking Brake.

    sounds about right







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    • ianmac
      DK Veteran
      • Oct 2008
      • 922

      #3
      Originally posted by gmb45
      26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.
      27. Release Parking Brake.

      sounds about right







      Ha! Ha! Yes & then wonder what the burning smell is...

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