Nursery Rhymes won't die out if we keep them updated.

[ianmac]

The future of nursery rhyme



Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

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It's Raining, It's Pouring
Of course...it's Global Warming.

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Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

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Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

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Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.

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[ianmac]

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry..
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was gay.

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Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun..
Jill, the dill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

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Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

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Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

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--- Ian ---

[patkins]

Great Epitaphs; Under these stones lies Mary Jones may she sleep and slumber. For these are not the only stones that Mary Jones lay under.