THE WORST JOKES THREAD

[barrowmanandrew]

Q. what's white and moves....... A. cum dancing...

[barrowmanandrew]

Q. how do you sink an irish submarine?........ A. chap the door...

[waqasahmed]

Ok, so a boy is born with no arms no legs no body, pratically he was just a head, but his dad loved him and on his eighteenth birthday his dad took him to the bar fo his first pint, and he took a sip and woosh out comes his torso!, so everyone in bar say take another sip, so he does, and woosh ou comes his arms and legs he was so happy he ran out into the road into an oncoming lorry and suddenly dead, and the bar man says to his dad, that boy should of quit while he was a head

[hoggy952]

I walked into B&Q and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.

[maca]

i went on the ikea diet after 3 days me legs fell off

[ianmac]

Just finished with my cross eyed girlfriend
Bitch was seeing someone else.

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Mate of mine married a polish girl other week,took her 4hours to do the hoovering!!!
Turns out she's only a Slo-vac

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I had a German plumber in the other day.
He accidentally connected the gas supply to the shower.
Mmmm. old habits die hard...

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[golf gti1]

Whats brown and sticky


A stick.


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I went out side today and got hit on the head by a frozen lasange.


It must be the last of the stuff falling from iceland.

[patkins]

Couple in New York had two children- a boy and a girl. When the third child came along it was born it was only a head with body ,arms and legs missing. When interviewed on TV about the child the Wife said it was OK as they were now the typical American family with 2.3 kids.

[Chriscwl]

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

[NHRA21]

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?



A: Where's My Tractor?

[zaniak]

"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any."

"Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The
other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!""

[stuckylad]

guy says"whats your favourite tellytubby"
his mate says"a 42" samsung plasma ye cheeky coont"

[pantomime horse]

what do you call a gay dinosaur?

SOREASSASAUROUS

or a megasorearse

[pantomime horse]

what do you call a teletubby with a finger up its bum

stinky pinky

[DogdySnigwirter]

What do you call 10 hookers piled on top of each other ?



A block of flaps