Scousers

[melmar]

A man from Liverpool walks into the local Job Centre, marches straight up to the counter and says, 'Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing benefits. I'd really rather have a job.' The social worker behind the counter says, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.The starting salary is ?200,000 a year.'The guy,wide-eyed,says,'You're bullshittin' me!'
The Social Worker says, 'Yeah, well... You started it!'

[maca]

A man from Liverpool walks into the local Job Centre, marches straight up to the counter and says, 'Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing benefits. I'd really rather have a job.' The social worker behind the counter says, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.The starting salary is ?200,000 a year.'The guy,wide-eyed,says,'You're bullshittin' me!'
The Social Worker says, 'Yeah, well... You started it!'

thats a new one

[z786]

just stay away form the comedy section then if it offends you that much oh by the way i have no time for people telling me what to say or do for that matter.

[maca]

" you can feel better and reply again but no more replies from me on this matter"

i was saying that joke is years old m8y..

[z786]

you also thanked the post that was insultin the gentleman that made the joke

id call that more than sayin its an old joke......matey

[maca]

i thought that was funny

[boomer39]

you also thanked the post that was insultin the gentleman that made the joke

id call that more than sayin its an old joke......matey

seem to have lost the thread here... but joke is years old and a stereotypical anti- scouse joke ... would love to know how many people work in melksham... probably a farmer, a cow and 4 udders...

[melmar]

You may want to check on Melksham again, we also have a
pub and a petrol station, but no dole office!!!!

[boomer39]

You may want to check on Melksham again, we also have a
pub and a petrol station, but no dole office!!!!

so how do you claim your benefits???? by carrier pigeon????

[melmar]

I waited a whole day, and thats the best reply you got?

C'mon, if you can't do better, i'm gonna get in my
tractor and f@;k off

[z786]

i knw i was waitin aswell....
im sure in the spare time you lot hav waitin for your next signin on session you wud hav thort of a better come back
anyways its old now so and past its sell by date, so dont even bother now, you'l look more stupid
neways hav fun, u got 6 months left and then the torries will axe ur dole

better start lookin for those "jobs"

[Meat-Head]

i, u got 6 months left and then the torries will axe ur dole better start lookin for those "jobs"

a) Good pleased to hear it, scrungers
b) Think you meant to say 'fix' for N3

[koppit]

You may want to check on Melksham again, we also have a
pub and a petrol station, but no dole office!!!!

There are excellent recreational facilities within the town including a gym, swimming pool and sports centre. A large range of clubs and societies cater for most tastes and range from Line Dancing to the Historical Association and everything in between. There is a good pub atmosphere in the town with many offering live music and other events.

people there don't live longer, it just seems like it

[melmar]

There are excellent recreational facilities within the town including a gym, swimming pool and sports centre. A large range of clubs and societies cater for most tastes and range from Line Dancing to the Historical Association and everything in between. There is a good pub atmosphere in the town with many offering live music and other events.

people there don't live longer, it just seems like it

Another one comes out of the woodwork, but again
where is this famous scouse humour??

I thought when you left school your ambition would have been
to be a great witt!!

Reckon your about halfway there!!!

[koppit]

oh diddums touched a nerve eh.